Balancing Business and Family: Expert Tips for Entrepreneurs with Chantal Cote

Balancing Business and Family: Expert Tips for Entrepreneurs with Chantal Cote

Kelly Kennedy: Welcome to episode 152 of the business development podcast. And on today's expert guest interview, we're chatting with Chantal Coté, founder of Pyramid Psychology. And we are chatting all about the struggle and challenges we are all facing as entrepreneurs, parents, and partners. Stick with us. You are not going to want to miss this episode.

Intro: The Great Mark Cuban once said business happens over years and years. Value is measured in the total upside of a business relationship, not by how much you squeezed out in any one deal. And we couldn't agree more. This is the business development podcast based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, and broadcasting to the world.

You'll get. Expert business development advice, tips, and experiences. And you'll hear interviews with business owners, CEOs, and business development reps, you'll get actionable advice on how to grow business. Brought to you by capital business development, capitalbd.ca. Let's do it. Welcome. To the business development podcast, and now your expert host, Kelly Kennedy.

Kelly Kennedy: Hello, welcome to episode 152 of the business development podcast. My gosh, today we have an amazing expert guest for you. I know. I know I have lots of parents out there in the audience, entrepreneurs, rock stars doing the best you can in the business world. But you know what? We all have families too, and that side is really tough, and I know specifically parenting is incredibly tough.

And today, I want to introduce you to Chantal Cote. Chantal is a dedicated Calgary based psychologist specializing in empowering teen girls to cultivate unbreakable mindsets for today's world. With over 14 years of experience in non profit organizations, Chantal brings a wealth of expertise in supporting youth through various challenges.

Her journey includes extensive work as a child, teen, and family counsellor in both community mental health and the school board, where she honed her skills in fostering healthy relationships and building resilience. Armed with a master's degree in counselling psychology from Athabasca University and a bachelor's degree in psychology from the University of Calgary, Chantal offers a signature coaching program called The Happiness Pill, alongside with personalized one on one therapy sessions, providing teens and their parents with the tools they need to thrive.

Through her innovative approach, blending psychology with expressive art therapy, Chantal empowers teen girls to discover their inner strength and confidence. Her dedication to impacting wellness for teen girls is evident in her daily content sharing, where she offers valuable insights and actionable strategies.

Whether through group coaching sessions or individual therapy, Chantal's goal is clear, to help every teen girl she works with develop the resilience and mindset needed to navigate life's challenges with ease. If you're raising or supporting a teen girl in today's world, Chantal has the answers to help us build bulletproof mindsets and foster happiness that lasts a lifetime.

Chantal, it's amazing to have you on the show.

Chantal Cote: Thank you so much. What a generous intro and congratulations on over 150 episodes.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, so cool. It's, it's like, it's hard to believe it's, we're actually recording right now about Two and a half months into the future. So in the real world, we're on episode 124, but yeah, we're getting, we're getting closer every single day.

I just want to say it's a, it's an honor to have you on this show. And I know when we connected, we connected because you founded Pyramid Psychology in Calgary. And I told you I hadn't had a psychologist come on. And when we got more in depth about it and you really said like, you know, my focus is really on teens and youth and, and, and.

Girls specifically who are facing probably the hardest challenge, you know, with regards to social media and growing up in 2024, that the kids have faced in an incredibly, incredibly long time. I was like, you know, we have to do this show because not only are we all entrepreneurs, we're all parents and we're all struggling together and terrified.

Chantal Cote: Yeah. It's a, it's a wild, wild world. And, and teens are dealing with things that I myself as a young person could not even imagine.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, it is. It's like, and that's the thing, I think, for most of us, you know, at least me, I wasn't truly exposed to what social media is, and even then, was I really, until about 2010, and I think that was when I joined Facebook, 2010, I want to say 2010, maybe 2008, I don't know, somewhere in there, either way.

The very beginning of Facebook, I think at that point, I was like, maybe in grade 12, you know, like, no, I was older than that. Like the reality was I never had to face it as a teen, really. And so trying to understand what facing social media is like for kids, I can't even imagine.

Chantal Cote: I know. It does baffle me and it, you know, there's so many layers to it too because I think like our brain is designed to be social.

We're, we're social by nature of being humans. And at the same time, I don't know that our brain was ever developed to have like such a social connection where there's like Yeah, Millions of people at your fingertips. And like, how do I contend with all that? And how do I see myself and form my own self identity in comparison to all of this?

You know, for me, growing up, it was like, yeah, all whatever. I grew up in a small French high school. So all 12 of us, those are the folks I was comparing myself to. And maybe the people in my sports club, but not that. Yeah. millions upon millions of people.

Kelly Kennedy: No, no, it's, it's a whole new world and I'm sure you experienced a ton of it, but, you know, take us back to the beginning, you know, who is Chantalle Cote?

On this path to psychology.

Chantal Cote: I know. Ooh. Okay. Well , I, I guess in some ways, and this is like the hindsight is 2020 gift. When I look back to myself as a, as a young person, I was a, a kiddo that had a lot of like autoimmune stuff going on, had really severe asthma, had eczema. I was really, really shy and really anxious.

I was also like this profound daydreamer. I was like barely ever present to what was going on. It was somewhere in, in this la la land of imagination. And I, you know, I got back by and figured it out and stuff. But I think when I became a teenager, I suddenly became hyper aware of some of the stuff that was going on for me.

And that it was Actually creating a lot of stress in my life. It was actually preventing me from saying yes to a lot of things I wanted to do. Like even like asking a question in class felt paralyzing. Being able to like talk to someone next to me, it was like, oh, that's so hard. And for me, I, I, I just knew I needed to do something.

I'm the oldest of three and there is a little bit, I don't know if you believe in kind of like the order of where you're, you're born, but I had this like thought of, I can't have my brother and sister feel this way. I don't know why that weight was upon me, but I was like, I need to break the mold of this shy, anxious kiddo that like is so paralyzed by everything in life so that my brother and sister don't have to deal with this.

And so that's where I started. I don't know, just like slowly that that journey of doing something different. And for me, one of the, like when I think back, I think one of the pivot moments was when I discovered fitness and working out. And so I, I gave that a go. I recognize that, hey, I'm actually a pretty strong person.

So it felt good. I felt more confident. It got rid of my asthma, which was like, whoo and these little and these little things that I would do that that helped me like, kind of like step outside of that box, try something new do things that I otherwise would have said no to. That's what kind of got the ball rolling on like, wow, when you When you're intentional, when you start to discover more about yourself, when you focus on wellness, there's a lot of really cool stuff that can happen.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I, I totally relate to that. Like being a teen and, and working out and, you know, we played, I played basketball back then. So like a little bit of sports kind of kept me busy at, we used to do like rollerblading, skateboarding. I grew up in a small town as well. I grew up in Spruce Grove, Alberta, so it was, it was much smaller than it is today.

It's a little bigger now, but back then it was, yeah, maybe. 12, 000 people. It was not big, but yeah, I relate to that a lot. And it's, it's so funny because I think back to being a kid and like our childhoods are just so different than what the kids today. But anyways, we're going to get into that. What happened next?

Chantal Cote: Okay, what happened next? Well, what happened next? I okay, another big moment for me was, okay, I've done these little things, and what else could I do that would really stretch me? And that thing ended up being traveling to China and living there for a year. So I literally like looked on a map with a, with a friend of mine and with my sister and said, where is a place that I could go to, maybe we could go to where I don't speak the language, where I know nothing about the culture and where I would be in a sink or swim kind of deal.

And so China was.

Kelly Kennedy: Wow.

Chantal Cote: It was a little bit, you know, I don't know, one of, one of my braver moments in life, I'll say.

Kelly Kennedy: No kidding. No kidding.

Chantal Cote: And other, and other things in life. Not just braver.

Kelly Kennedy: Okay. Well, now, okay, so you, you land in China, you don't know the language, new culture.

Take us through that experience.

Chantal Cote: It was very eyeopening. It was is very difficult at times. I spent a lot of days kind of crying and eating fudgeos. It was it was very difficult. It was my first time kind of without my parents. It was pre the, the connectivity era that we live in and so everything was like I would write an email if I wanted to connect with someone.

And then there were actually some really, a lot of really beautiful moments. I, I learned more about myself. I met some really incredible people. I did some interesting, interesting work. And. Just learned a lot about a culture. It was very, very different from the culture I grew up in. I just really appreciated that.

And it kind of set in this sense for me of wanting to explore more, be curious about people, get to know people. It was, yeah, yeah, it was all kinds of things.

Kelly Kennedy: And I want to speak to that just for a second because, you know, We grew up in a Western country, democratic, different culture, a capitalist culture.

What was it like to end up in, is it fair to call China a communist culture?

Chantal Cote: Definitely still some pretty strong remnants of that.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Okay.

Chantal Cote: I mean, that was back in 2003, but yes.

Kelly Kennedy: Sure, sure. Okay. But, but a different way. Can you maybe explain, you know, because obviously I've never been to China and I'm sure a lot of people listening, you know, we just know what we hear about China, which can be scary at times, honestly.

So can you walk us through what that, like, what was it like to actually be there? What are the contrasts?

Chantal Cote: You know, like some, Some things, for example, like in the, in the workplace things that I would encounter that I was like, Oh, this is interesting. I don't know that this would happen to me back home.

For example, the first day on the job I, I show up with my. A uniform on and my boss comes up to me and he's like, you look terrible. Go put makeup on. I was like, what? And he's like, yes. And he had also said to me, you're, you are the white woman representation in this hotel. So you need to like, look and act the part.

And so it was like things that were said to me that I was like, Oh, okay. So I, I just think there were like some like employee employment kind of cultural things that were quite different from me or from what I had grown up knowing. Yeah. And I think, I mean, at the time I would say there were just some, Some social shockers, which are a little bit different now.

I would walk down the street and just see some, some really eye opening things with people that had like really, really nothing beyond nothing. And it just like, it just really opened my eyes to, to some harsher realities of the world. And then there are some pieces about the, like the, just the family culture that I really appreciated the way that the, the younger generations Take care of the older generations.

It wasn't even like a, a hesitancy thing. It was, it was just like this, this is the way it is. And it was done so fairly lovingly. And I just like really appreciated that. Yeah, there, there were a lot of. A lot of things.

Kelly Kennedy: Wow. Yeah. I can't imagine. I had another conversation with a gentleman who'd spent some time in China and that's what he said too.

He said like the family type of culture there is next level. Like it, we can't really compare it to anything that we see in the Western world.

Chantal Cote: Oh yeah. Yeah. And if you're not exposed to it, like, I mean, I did grow up in a fairly, like I would say individualistic type of culture for myself. And so, yeah, if you're, if you're not exposed to it or you don't.

You don't know what you don't know. It's, it's, yeah, there's some really, really beautiful things about it too. Like I really, yeah, really admired that.

Kelly Kennedy: Wild. Yeah. When you were there, were you ever afraid?

Chantal Cote: I don't really remember feeling afraid. There was one time when when I was in a really busy, Oh, I remember writing an email to my mom because the buses were really jam packed and you had to like push your way to get on.

And, and there was something about pushing over like little old ladies that didn't sit well for me. And I was a giant there. Like I was I was, I'm only five, like I'm five, seven, but they're typically, I was a pretty big person. And I was in the South of China where, where people tend to be a little bit on the shorter side.

And so I wrote an email to my mom. I was like, mom, today I pushed over like, I think I shoved a little old lady to get on the bus because I had waited for four buses. I feel so terrible. And my mom's like, what kind of daughter have I raised?

Kelly Kennedy: My only question as a Canadian was how many times did you say sorry?

Chantal Cote: Oh, I'm sure. Right? Like I waited four buses to get on. So I was like, Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah.

Kelly Kennedy: We don't do that. We just wait. And we look for our opportunity.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, totally. Oh my gosh. So when I got on that bus I was on the bus, it was jam packed. We were all very close. And when I got off the bus, my backpack had been split open.

And so I don't know, fear is quite the right word, but it was a little bit like, just felt a little bit like uneasy about, oh yeah, like my personal stuff had gone, like someone had gone through it and I just, I was like, didn't like that.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, no kidding. No kidding. So you spent an entire year in China.

Chantal Cote: I spent, yeah, an entire year there.

And then I was invited to go to Hong Kong and continue to work. In the end, I, I ended up declining and coming back to, to Canada. It was, it was kind of a tough decision because it was, I, I mean, I really was, you know, learning a lot and developing good friendships. I also really missed home and missed my, my now current husband.

So there's a little bit of a love story in there too.

Kelly Kennedy: Oh, amazing. Amazing. You, you met your husband while you were in China?

Chantal Cote: No, no, he was back here. Yeah, in Alberta and we had just kind of like lost connection and regained A connection just towards that time where I was offered the Hong Kong job. So I, I chose, I chose the partner over the, over the, the gig.

Kelly Kennedy: Well, it seems like you found passion elsewhere anyway.

Chantal Cote: You bet. Yeah.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Chantal Cote: Yeah.

Kelly Kennedy: So what happened when you got home?

Chantal Cote: When I got home, I got into working for non profit. I really, again, that, that idea of, like, immersing myself in another culture gave me a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for folks who left everything to come and live here.

So whether it was because they were forced to as, as refugees, or whether it was because they were choosing to for Giving a better life to their, their children and stuff. I just had a tremendous amount of respect for that. And so I started working for an organization that helps newcomers. And I did that for quite a long time, headed up a few programs that worked with refugee youth, specifically supporting them, supporting their transition, their mental health ensuring that they had resources to to settle in and kind of build on that, that resiliency that they already came with.

from living such a, such a difficult life. So that was pretty amazing work.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Chantal Cote: Yeah.

Kelly Kennedy: I, I want to stop there for a second, just because, you know, in Canada, we have so many, you know, amazing immigrant entrepreneurs. And I've had the pleasure of interviewing a few of them on the show. And when you hear their stories of, you know, like why they came here, what they came from, you know, I had one that was literally a, a legal expert advising I believe it was the Prime Minister or the President of Ukraine.

Like, that was their job before they came here. And when they came here, they worked at Tim Hortons because they had two law degrees, but they didn't translate over to Canada. And then, you know, built herself up from there. Eventually, you start you know, bought into a franchise. And just that, like, That amazing work ethic that you see and, and story behind it.

It's, it's mind blowing and it's really touching.

Chantal Cote: Yeah. Yeah. And it's like the epiphany of resiliency.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. And just hearing her story and just like, you know, she came from a privileged family in Ukraine and, you know, like I said, she, she had two law degrees and she was on the team that was advising, I believe it was the prime minister.

I, I can't remember this prime minister or president for Ukraine, but it was advising to the, to the prime minister or president at the time. And then recognize that she didn't agree. With the things that were happening in her country. And being in that weird place where it's like, I couldn't imagine being in a place of privilege like that.

But then coming to the decision that like, you know, I don't know if I like what's happening here.

Chantal Cote: And then as a, as a parent, and you know, I don't know if I guess as a parent, I think a lot of the folks that I would work with would be parents. And so it's like making this really, really difficult decision of like, do we leave to, you know, We don't know if the grass is greener on the other side.

Kelly Kennedy: No, I can't. I, I think of that immigrant story and I have so much admiration for them because I, as a Canadian, couldn't imagine packing up and moving anywhere. And yet so many people make that choice and it just blows my mind. And I just, I remember, I just think to myself, it's like, wow, like how hard that choice has to be.

And I don't care. I don't care where you're coming from. That's home. That's your home. That's your people.

Chantal Cote: Yeah.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Anyways, that's amazing. It's amazing work.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, I was very, very humbling, a very humbling experience. I'm very grateful that I was able to, to be a part of that for as long as I was. And yeah, it, it also continued to really change me and it helped me also kind of discover I was a program coordinator, so I was kind of in charge of just implementing the day to day stuff, making sure that they were connected to clinicians or any other types of services and supports they needed.

And as I got to know the, the folks who were doing the therapy side of things, I started to see myself going over there. I mean, I listened to many, many stories. It was part of our Part of our thing is we got to know people. We would, we would just naturally be there and listening to the stories and holding space for people that wanted to talk about whatever they wanted to talk about.

And I found myself being drawn to that and wanting to kind of transition over to that side of things. And so I started my, my journey into like getting my My master's I'm trying to think, I know my oldest who is almost 16 now, he was like a, a toddler. So I think I had like a three year old running around and I was doing my master's.

I remember one day we lived in a, a two story and I remember one day it was like a beautiful sunny day and I could hear kids and adults laughing outside. I look outside, they're all, they're all there with a barbecue. I'm sitting inside like, Feverishly typing this paper, and I think I put my hat on the window like, Oh, but I also really wanted to become a therapist.

So like that dedication. And yeah.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, amazing. Amazing. So you got your master's and then what happened?

Chantal Cote: I continued to work in the same kind of field. I worked with the school board in their area where they were supporting newcomer families as well. So continue to work with youth really just loved the work there was for me, there's something about working with young people.

I love, I love the way their minds operate in terms of like the intellectual capacity, as well as like the connection to their emotions and then trying to navigate it all. It's very inspiring to me. And so I just, I was like, okay, I found my, I found my people. These are the people that I want to help.

And I want to work with and graduated into working into, in children's grief. So worked there for, I don't know, I think like four or five years. And. At some point, just kind of thought to myself, I think I like, I've done a lot in nonprofit and I think I would be ready to create my own thing. I've always been a pretty creative person in, in different ways.

And. I kind of sometimes feel out of place in like some boxes. And so the idea of working like nine to five was energetically draining for me. The idea of like, I don't know, just like hitting certain like targets and stuff also, it was just like, I don't know, I just need something different. I, I, I think I need to like be in a space where I feel like I can just create, create, create.

And, and that's kind of led me down that path. path of like checking out what would it be like to create my own thing? What if I was an entrepreneur?

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, yeah. So lead me into that choice. The choice to start Pyramid Psychology. I know we talked to so many entrepreneurs on the show and I know we have so many people listening who are maybe they're not quite entrepreneurs yet.

They're like right on the throne. fence and they're ready to take that jump. But we all need that kick in the butt. For me, it was COVID. You know, my, I'd worked at a place for 10 years and my boss came and was like, Kelly, you know, like, I don't know what the next bit looks like. Do you maybe have a plan?

And he was awesome. Like, you know, he, he helped me essentially get my company started capital business development. The company's evolved a lot since then. We do a whole bunch of different things. And, and obviously this podcast came of it, like things that could have never happened had I not had that, you know, kick in the butt to make, to make it happen.

What for you was the catalyst that was like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to start pyramid.

Chantal Cote: What was the kick in the butt? What was the kick in the butt? It was.

I, I think, I mean, I don't know that it was like this one moment, but I do remember I was having a conversation with someone and she said something like, you just got to burn the ships. And I was like, what? She's like, yeah, you just got to burn the ships. And. And then she elaborated a little bit more on what, what she mentioned.

She's like, you're on the cusp, like, you're kind of like one foot in one foot out, and you'll probably stay there for as long as you can sustain that. Unless you say, okay, I'm like taking the plunge and I'm doing that. I'm like, I'm doing this. Yeah. And so I guess like my version of. of burning the ships, because I had been working on my website in the background, kind of creating, like, what I wanted the practice to be, thought about, like, who do I want to serve, what is that going to look like I just hadn't really Said like, yeah, like I hadn't pulled the trigger.

And so I think it was really just that piece of that. Maybe a little bit of that advice and then actually doing it. So saying, okay, well, I'm resigning and I don't actually have a client yet. So let's see what happens.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. There, there really is that like self doubt and I know I struggled with it a lot.

I struggled with, you know, imposter syndrome for a long time. I think, I think even starting this show, I struggled with imposter syndrome thinking, yeah, you're great at business development, but who are you to tell people how to do business development? Right? Like I think on a certain level as entrepreneurs, we all struggle with it on some level, right?

Chantal Cote: A hundred percent. I mean, I think like for me, it was super clear that I wanted to help youth. I wanted to help teenagers and girls specifically. Then I also had this part of me that would show up and say like, Well, how are you gonna make a living just helping this one type of person? It turns out like, to me, it's, it's been an amazing decision to, to really be able to hone in and imagine like, who is the person that I'm, that I'm helping?

Who is the person that our team is helping? But at the time it was like, Oh, what am I doing?

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. And I think every entrepreneur feels that way. And so like, I, you know, I'm talking to my people on the fence right now. If you're feeling that way, understand we've All felt like that, you know, like from, from the people that are just getting started to the ones that have been seasoned at it for 20, 30 years, we all started from a place of, I don't know, like, I sure hope I'm enough to do this.

Chantal Cote: Yes, yes, yeah, absolutely.

Kelly Kennedy: I mean, I guess I just want to say like, for sure, you are enough.

Chantal Cote: That's right. Everyone out there listening, you are enough. I love that message. Yeah, it's been really great to like, I think like support was a massive thing for me as well. Like my, I mentioned my partner and my spouse, like he's, he's a really incredible human being.

So like a shout out to John, if I can do that. He believes in me unconditionally. I don't know how he does it. But that's been really helpful. So I think like, if you have folks that that can believe in you until you believe in yourself to me, that has been a real driving force as well.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. There's a big shout out to all the partners of entrepreneurs, by the way, we can't, we really can't do it without you.

So appreciate the help. I got mine too. And yeah, it's been up and down. Like we've had our fights, believe me, like, you know, I, I, I have gone way too far, I think on certain levels with regards to like my ambitions on certain times, and it's hard because we're always trying to balance like, you know, work life balance, which at this point I just feel is, you know, a big pile of BS.

Chantal Cote: Maybe a big fake news, a bit of fake news.

Kelly Kennedy: Fake news, yeah. It's tough, it's really tough. I don't think any entrepreneur is really able to get Achieve what I like to call work life balance for a while. I do think it happens. I've had a lot of entrepreneurs on the show who I talked to you and they say, Yeah, like now I have a great work life balance.

I work four hours a day, you know, we have employees that handle the rest and I'm now able to do that. However, You know, most of them, I feel like it took them years to get there. And unfortunately, the cost to a lot of them has been those family relationships. And I've, I've had some of them that have told me it wasn't worth it at all.

They achieved immense success, but they lost their relationship with their kids. They've been through two divorces, right? Like, I've had those conversations and I've had the ones that say like, yeah, like it was tough. But now we're here and I have it. But, you know, I think, I think we all struggle. I think, I think all entrepreneurs struggle.

And I have yet to find the secret to achieve work life balance throughout the entire journey.

Chantal Cote: Oh, you bet. You bet. And the stressors that come with something. So I think like on numerous times like just kind of like looking at my bank account and going, Oh, what have I done? What have I done? What have I done?

That piece for me, I would say has been the, the biggest challenge. And then thinking like, Oh, I'm gonna like, You know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make my family end up without a home and with no money and debt to pay out. And just thinking like, Oh, this is something I've created. Those are my moments of like terror.

Kelly Kennedy: Totally. Totally. I remember chatting with my old boss telling me you're not an entrepreneur until you've had some sleepless nights. And I didn't get it at the time, but I definitely get it now.

Chantal Cote: Yeah. Yeah. Oh my goodness.

Kelly Kennedy: Yep. Oh goodness. Yeah, okay, so, so you got into essentially child psychology. Your specific focus is on teenage girls.

Is that correct?

Chantal Cote: Yep. So teens from the span of adolescence, kind of 11 year olds all the way up to 21 year olds is our, is our focus. Our span.

Kelly Kennedy: Mm hmm. Cool. I like, I like to say I didn't grow up till I was like 30. So there you go.

Chantal Cote: I know. Well, well, right. And the more they, they tell us about the brain, the more that we know that it's just like constantly developing and neuroplastic and it's like, well, when does it end?

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, no kidding. I'm sure they'll come to it one day and it's like, you know, when you die,

that's when it ended. That's when it ended. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay, I, I, I, this is now we're getting into the meat and potatoes because me and you had this conversation before and I said, look, you know, like I'm an entrepreneur.

I'm also a step parent. I'm also now a biological parent. So I have all aspects of it. And you know, our oldest boy is 10 right now. And our youngest is four months. So we have a big range. And I'm going through that like, okay, that newborn stage, which I'd never been a part of because I came into, you know, my fiance's life when the youngest was two.

So I kind of got the parenting experience, but I didn't get the like newborn experience until recently. So I'm like, lately, I've just been like fighting. No sleep. More sleepless nights. Oh boy, yeah. And then still, and then performing on a level unlike anything that I've ever had to perform on in my entire life with regards to the show, Capital, and everything else that we're doing, which is amazing.

I am the most grateful human. I'm so thankful for the opportunities that have fallen into our lap. I'm thankful for all of, all of our listeners and everything else we've got going on. But my gosh, like with regards to just time, I've never. Had less time in my entire life and that even comes down to sleeping.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, yeah. Oh, that takes me back.

Kelly Kennedy: Totally. But now that takes us into the real meat and potato challenge now is that crazy busy. And yet still trying to, you know, parent with my partner as best as I can and finding my gosh, like parenting is so hard.

And I would say like, as an entrepreneur, maybe even, and I don't want to say harder, just you're trying to balance the full time and then some job of parenting. With the full time and then some job of entrepreneurship and then top it off with a podcast, right?

Chantal Cote: It's a little icing on the cake there.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, it's really hard.

And I can see why so many entrepreneurs really struggle with with their family life in general. But now, not just struggling with family life in general, which would have been its own set of challenges, you know, 20 years ago. But struggling with what do we do in 2024, when there's just access to everything, most kids have tablets, YouTube's a thing, social media is a thing, our parents never had to parent us with social media being a thing, not, not truly, because we came into it at the tail end, at least my generation did, we 1988, so, you know, like, like, I was already me.

on the road to adulthood by the time I ended up on Facebook. Let's just call it that, right? Instagram didn't even exist at that point. What it, and I'm terrified because I don't know how to parent in this. Nobody does. Yeah, yeah. And we don't even know what our kids are experiencing. And that's, that's terrifying.

It's like we can control so much, or we try to. But are we controlling the right things? Are we even doing the right things? I know, like my oldest son plays Fortnite. That's like the big thing. He loves Fortnite. And I, you know, I mean, it looks fun. I played games when I was his age, but we didn't have online games when I was his age.

So like, what does that mean? Right? I don't know. I know. I know. I'm speaking on behalf of a lot of entrepreneurs listening right now. Parents listening right now who are like, I don't know how the heck. to connect with my kids these days. What, what are they experiencing? How do I protect them from the internet?

How do I help them become young men, young women in a healthy way when I'm not even sure that the way that we're living right now is healthy?

Chantal Cote: Mm hmm. Yeah, so many, so, so many questions and so many, so much room for, for doubt and all of that too.

Kelly Kennedy: Everywhere.

Chantal Cote: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can, so I guess like from my personal experience, like I'm not wearing my therapist hat.

I think like for, for myself, one thing that I continue to work on and continue to really try and hone into, it's a work in progress. I'm very imperfect. I, I really try and get clear on like water, like what really matters to me. So what are some of my, like The values that are non negotiable and everyone has, you know, has their own.

And so I don't expect others to be carrying those exact same values. I just, for me, I really hone in on that. And I know that that like connection piece and that. like deeply sincere relationship with my kids is really, really important. It's just, it's a value of mine. It like when I get to know people, when I have a relationship with people, I really, I really just want them to know that they are seen, heard, witnessed, and mattered and matter.

And, and so that's something that I try and carry forward through my parenting. And, and I go back to that question whenever I'm shaky and I'm doubting what I'm doing, you know, Knowing that full well, like I'm like, I still make a ton of mistakes at the end of the day. I kind of go back to that almost like a motto, almost like what's my mission as a parent and try to go back to that piece.

Like, have I done something today to nurture our relationship? Have I done something today to let to let my kiddo know that I see, I see him. I, I hear him. I'm witnessing him. I have time for him. And when I go back to that piece to me, it's almost like a Like a foundational piece that really helps guide me in, in knowing like, Hey, I'm doing the best I can.

And I'm lining up with something that, that I believe is really important for me as a human and how I want to show up in this world.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah. Like what you're ultimately aiming for is the most authentic relationship that you can have. But ironically, you're trying to build that in a time. When I think authentic relationship has been harder than ever to accumulate.

And like, you know, I'm in business development, and in some cases I've had better relationships with my clients than I have with my friends or my family. Because there's some level that I've been able to connect, I think, better with. Some of my work colleagues or my clients or whatever else, then, then sometimes even with my own family.

And it's very weird to think in a time where we understand the importance of authenticness and real relationships in business, that we struggle so much to have them in our personal lives.

Chantal Cote: Yeah. Yeah. And I, I think like I have this gift of, so my kids are currently doing a self directed schooling.

So. We are in similar spaces often and I say it's a gift because I know that this is not something that every parent can choose or would choose. To me, like with my, my 10 year old, so I have a 10 year old and I have an almost 16 year old. Him and I, we, we just spend a lot of time just chatting. So it's like we talk about everything under the sun and it's really fostered a, like a really cool relationship.

And I know that's not something that's available for, for everyone. So I am very grateful and aware that that is, that is definitely something that contributes to like the current, the current relationships that we have.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah. And I think you're right. I think it really does come down to like having deliberate conversations and going out of your way to try to have that conversation with them every day when possible.

It makes a lot of sense. I think in some, some cases it's just easier said than done. And I, and I hate this. I'm going to say that because it sounds shitty. It sounds like a cop out. But I think, you know, a lot of times as parents, we're so busy in the daytime that come nighttime, it's really hard to want to have that conversation about Fortnite that day.

Like, you know what I mean? I, and I hate to say that because it makes me sound like a crappy parent, but it's like, it's like, I wish that you knew how little that actually matters in the real world a little bit. I struggle with that sometimes, even though I get that in the moment for him, that is his world.

That's the thing he loves. Yeah. And so I think what I need to do is just try to remember that. Right now, to him, that's what's super important to him, and because it's important to him, I need to try to find a way to make it important to me, but I really struggle with that.

Chantal Cote: Mm hmm. It can be, it can be really hard, and as you mentioned, like, at the end of a day or something like that, I think, like, as adults, so we're, Better at regulating our nervous system.

I'm saying this is a generalization because our, our, our brains have undergone more development and we've got like more of that prefrontal cortex all nice and established. Yet I think we live in a, in a current climate in our society where we're constantly just regulating our nervous system. And so by the end of the day, a lot of adults, a lot of parents, a lot of entrepreneur parents are coming home.

Exhausted. Yeah,

Kelly Kennedy: we're burnt out.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, they're tapped out. And so when, when we were like that, when our nervous system is on the fritz or it's burnt out or it's tapped out, like connectivity and relationship is really hard. In fact, we almost might feel like we have a glass pane between us and, and the ones we love the most.

And it's like, I, Like, I am struggling to connect here.

Kelly Kennedy: Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah, I know that I've experienced that. I know that, I know that, you know, Shelby's experienced that. I know that a lot of us are experiencing that because, you know, we're working so hard. That during, when we, when we get home, when we're supposed to have that break, sometimes it's even hard to like, connect with what's gonna make me feel better.

Like I know I struggle with that where like after like a long days, even even on like great rewarding days, sometimes I get home and like, my mind is still at work. And so even trying to be like, what is it that I need right now, it's really hard to connect with myself to like get to the bottom of what it is that I really want in that moment.

And sometimes in that moment, I find myself like, sitting down on the couch and just like watching mindless TV or whatever else, right? Like, because I don't know what I I don't know what I want. I just know I want to do something.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, yeah. And, and, yeah. Like you said, even finding the energy of like, yeah, what do I need right now, can feel like a massive task.

Kelly Kennedy: It's so funny, because actually the guest, one of the guests that I had before you was Lasse Jorgensen, and he's, he's, Like a business and mindfulness coach.

And we were talking about this and I was just like, dude, like I get it. I know like intrinsically that I need to find what makes me happy and do more of that, but what do you do when you're not sure what's going to make you happy?

That's the problem. And I think so many people are working so hard, especially entrepreneurs. that we can like completely disconnect with the things that used to bring us happiness. And then that's a weird place to be because then you're finding happiness in work, which I think almost all entrepreneurs do.

Like we wouldn't do it if we didn't enjoy it. But then it's like trying to remember what else makes you happy or what other things you enjoy doing can really be hard, incredibly hard. And I think that that's where that real disconnect comes from because it's like, I want to do enjoyable things. But you start to forget what was enjoyable.

Chantal Cote: Absolutely. Well, and I don't know if I love that you had a mindfulness coach on. I wonder if, if he talked a little bit about, like, it doesn't matter what you're doing necessarily. It may be about how you're engaging with the thing. And that's maybe where we can discover The different sensations, the different emotions.

Is this pleasurable? Do I like this? The different pieces. Cause I, I think to myself, like even, even like washing our hands in warm water or, you know, like taking a walk. And this morning I was, I was driving in and the clouds were like, so fun looking and I caught myself like, well. Driving also driving and paying attention to the road looking at the clouds and saying, Oh, they're so fun.

Like they're like cotton candy and swirly. And I thought like, it was just a moment in time and such a joy moment.

Kelly Kennedy: Yep. Just a simple moment of joy. I know. I know exactly what you're talking about. My gosh. I don't know. Like, I don't know. And I struggle with this because I just, I feel like I have moments where I want joy.

And, and it's so funny because I've talked to so many experts about this and it's about feeling in that moment. And I think like I, you know, as a 35 year old man, you know, a product of the 90s and early 2000s, I really prided myself on being strong, on being tough, on not. Letting things get to me, even when they got to me.

And it's like, I was talking with Lasse about that and just kind of saying like, I don't know how many of those guards that I put up back then. And I think I've become much more open, much more authentic, not, you know, I mean, I'm okay having these conversations. But I think at times I still really, really struggle to connect with what I'm feeling because that part of me that was like, just bury that shit and move forward is still such a big part of who I have become.

And trying to unlearn those things. And I know I'm talking to a ton of entrepreneurs who are exactly like Kelly. I get it. I get it. I'm you. I know what you're talking about. But that's what we've done. We grew up in a time where we You know, my brothers were like, just toughen up. My parents were like, don't whine or don't complain about that.

And I just grew up, you know what? You got to be strong. You got to be tough. You got to bury that stuff. And it's like, how much of that is affecting my day to day? And I don't even know what to do about it. Or like, I don't, I'm not even cognizant it's happening because it's part of that 95 percent unconscious world that I live in.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, yeah. Part of part of the programming that's running in the background.

Kelly Kennedy: That's right. You're not aware of it. All what I am aware of is that there are these certain situations where, you know, me and Shelby will be getting into tough, you know, tight waters. You know what I mean? With regards to a conversation.

And my automatic is just like, my emotions just shut off.

Chantal Cote: Mm hmm.

Kelly Kennedy: And it's like defense mechanism, obviously. But how do you unprogram those defense mechanisms that are so baked in that you weren't even aware were defense mechanisms? They were just a part of who you were

Chantal Cote: right? Oh, you bet. And there's like, there is a thing about like having blinders on like, like, I think one thing that I, you know, Invest in is my own coaching and my own therapy.

And those are part of like my non negotiables as well as an entrepreneur. And, and as a parent is like accessing folks who can help me pull back the blinders a little bit and become a little more, a little more self reflective, a little more self aware. Seeing maybe some of the things that, that, as you said, like, as part of that 95 percent of that subconscious programming that, that I am not necessarily aware of or have the ability to see but an outsider person can maybe mirror that back and say, Hey, what about this?

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah. And, and, you know, I mean, thank God, like we're living in a time now where. I think that telling people to suck it up is going to stop being the norm, right? But, you know, and you know, in all fairness, I'm not going to say that that mindset didn't serve me. It did serve me, right? There were lots of scenarios where, yeah, like probably carried me through.

But at what cost? Mm hmm. What was the long term cost? And I think that that's kind of what we're starting to realize now is that a lot of people in their 30s, 40s, 50s are struggling with challenges that came from that mindset.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, and I can even like, I even link that, my brain is like connecting the dots to even the teens that I, I work with.

Today, like, I think there's a couple of pieces. One is that, yes, I do think our, our subconscious programming serves us or else we'd stop doing it. Like, like, there's got to be something that it's serving. And sometimes it's just like, well, it's outdated, right? So it worked. Then it's not serving me so much anymore.

And I, and I think like, so that takes away some of the shame around it too, of like this, there's something wrong with me or like I wasted all this time doing this. It's kind of like, you know what? No, I learned this, this stuff and this programming came in handy and actually served me in some ways. And right now it may not be.

as, as helpful. So how can I, how can I kind of bring some awareness to it and change some of that stuff for myself?

Kelly Kennedy: Totally, totally. And I, I think that that is, we live in a time now where that is kind of the idea is that people are becoming more aware of what that programming might be or where those challenges might not be serving them.

And it gives them just that opportunity to question their feeling, which before it would have just been, I'm feeling this way and that's that. Yeah, absolutely. Can you take us into Some of the challenges that you're seeing some of our youth dealing with. I know that was one of the things that I really wanted to spend some time with you on, being a parent myself, having lots of parent listeners and you being a parent.

Talk to me. What are our youth running into?

Chantal Cote: Yeah. Our youth are running into a lot of pressure. And this is not always pressure coming from the external world as in parents, it's, a lot of it has become almost internalized pressure to show up a certain way or to not do certain things like not make mistakes or not disappoint other people.

They're, they're dealing with like this enormous weight of pressure. I see a lot of like dealing with the sense of like things are just kind of chaotic. And I'm trying to get a sense of control somewhere. And so that can show up in different ways. Like I work with a lot of teen girls and so disordered eating is definitely something that comes up.

Self injury and self harm. And a lot of these things, when we look at the, the roots of them can be rooted in the sense of, like, things are feeling really out of control. This is causing a lot of anxiety for me. And these are the ways that I'm trying to manage some of that. A lot of burnout as well.

So seen in like more depressive symptoms, but we've got these young people that are like feeling really exhausted, really burnt out, you know, at 13, at 12 even.

Kelly Kennedy: Wow.

Chantal Cote: Yeah.

Kelly Kennedy: Why so much pressure? And is it different than the pressure that me and you grew up with?

Chantal Cote: Yeah, that's a good question. I, I mean, I have my, my thoughts on some of it and I think some of it is linked to the amount of Stimuli that they access and have every day.

And so by that I mean the social media components, like there's just so much information, so much information you can access. Absolutely anything you can learn about absolutely anything and your and our brains are like bombarded by it and they're so connected that they're like. Extra bombarded by it. And then there's just, you know, like, like the other things that are going on.

So like relationships and things going on with their figuring out their identity and figuring out Who they are, their, their connections with their parents, et cetera, et cetera. Their, their achievements, like how they, how they kind of see that their future. I think there's a gamut of things that are like pretty traditionally adolescent, at least in, in Western culture, like adolescent stressors or things that they contend with in addition to being bombarded by like.

So much stimuli.

Kelly Kennedy: And I remember being a teenager and like, you know, obviously I can't remember how hard it was, but I remember it was damn hard. I remember feeling at the time, like my problems were like crushing me and I'm sure that they like in the grand scheme of things were pretty minor, but at the time it can feel overwhelming and I couldn't imagine throwing that overwhelm on top of.

social media on top of, you know, being so connected, like you said, being able to see everything. Like for me, my problems were whatever was going on at home and whatever was going on at school. Everything else in the world didn't affect me because I didn't know about it. .

Chantal Cote: Mm-Hmm.

Kelly Kennedy: Now you throw on the fact that when school ends, it doesn't really end because kids can still talk to each other through electronics.

Yeah. And they have access to the newsfeed, which they never would've had before.

Chantal Cote: Mm-Hmm.

Kelly Kennedy: and God knows what else comes through your office.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, you bet. You bet. And at the end of the day, also dealing with a lot of changes going on in the brain and the body, like there's, there's a lot of different things happening and, and teens still have a lot of their emotional centers are developed and their, their kind of thinking centers are in the process of being developed.

So if you, you know, you, you give a ton of information to a brain that can be highly reactive and really connected to its emotional centers, and it's still developing and it's thinking centers. Like that's, that's just like a recipe for some pretty intense experiences.

Kelly Kennedy: No kidding. No kidding. So what are, you know, like, let's say the top three challenges you're seeing coming through your office.

Chantal Cote: I mean, I, I think like anxiety is, is definitely one. And like I said, it kind of, it looks a little bit different. So it might present a little bit differently at, at the end of the day, when we get down to the root of it, there's a lot of that kind of like anxiety, peace. I would say that relationship navigation is another kind of big one that comes up.

So whether it's like, hey, my relationship with my parents, my relationship to myself, even like liking myself or my relationship to my peers. That's a really big one. And then I would say the, like the more of the, like the burnout depression piece is another really, really big one. Just like really exhausted nervous systems is what I call them.

It's like, Hey, I'm living in a, in a state of being dysregulated so much. That I'm like, I'm not, like, it's hard for me to see the point sometimes, and I don't mean this in a way of like thinking of suicide all the time, I think it's more of that piece of, like, I just, it's hard for me to see the point of like, why am I going to school, or like, what's the point of participating in this, so kind of more of that.

That element as well.

Kelly Kennedy: Do you see, like, a higher risk of kids that are, that are hitting that self harm point?

Chantal Cote: So I have a little bit of a biased view on that because I know that I'm working with teens and, and it's, it's just like in higher numbers for, for teens. So I don't know if there's necessarily being an increase. One thing that I have noticed though is that like there has been an increase in symptoms that are related to anxiety and depression and phobia and fears. Like I've definitely since like pre or pre COVID to now, I've definitely noticed That when people and I are talking or when we're doing like questionnaires or assessments and stuff like that, the numbers are coming back a lot on this side going, wow, this is showing us like really high anxiety, really high.

And, and so I, I also consider that too. It's like, okay, well, I mean, there's a lot of changes that have happened in the world, so I'm not super surprised to see this. And also like, this is. This is letting us know some good information, there's, there's something to pay attention to here.

Kelly Kennedy: It's just sad that kids are, are experiencing anxiety.

I, like that to me really bothers me. I, I wish that we could just do something for them to help them out because, you know, I didn't have, you know, any challenges with anxiety until I was in my thirties. Okay. And it really came like, it, it came in the tail end. And I, you know, before I think I just used to think like, Oh, what are they talking about?

Like, to me, it just seemed crazy, right? Because I hadn't experienced it. But after I had experienced what anxiety can feel like, the thought that like young people could experience anxiety really bothers me because it's like, it's like, my gosh, like what's going to happen to them when they're older?

Because it's like right now, they may not even be experiencing half the challenge that they're going to experience by the time they're 30 themselves.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I think, I think like one, one thing that I find really interesting when I am working with, with teens is to, to talk about To talk about emotions in a way that it's like, okay, what if we think about these as not like good or bad, but more like what's their purpose.

And then also how can we see like, cause anxiety in itself is not a terrible emotion. Like if there was a saber tooth tiger that ran into my office right now, I sure as heck hope that anxiety would kick in and I would do something about it or else this podcast would end right now. So it's not, it's not a terrible thing.

And I think I, I, I try and help teens really recognize and trust within themselves that they have their emotions for a reason. Yeah. And, and that they're all very important. So it takes away some of that. Again, I, I do try and like take away some of that shame around, like there's something wrong with me or there's something bad about me feeling or thinking this and try and help them reframe it and look at it as like, It's okay to have all of my emotions.

And also when one is like hijacking or when one is becoming extra sensitive. So it's like, it's going off really, really like a, like a very light trip wire. Let's see if we can find some ways to. To regulate that so that it goes off when you need it, but it's not going off all the time.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, yeah, no, for sure, for sure.

I guess, you know, one of the questions that I have is that, as parents, we now have kids that have access to social media, whether, you know, I'm not sure at what age, but, you know, let's assume they're teenagers. I imagine most teenagers at this point, one way or another, have access to a social media platform.

What are some tips that you can give to parents just help us better manage this? Like when should kids get access to a cell phone? You know, is it okay that they're playing video games online with other kids at like 8, 9, 10 years old? Is that okay? What about, you know, like I said, the social media access, you know, and I'm terrified.

I really don't want my kids to have access to social media and I'm going to put it off as long as humanly possible, even though this platform exists on social media of some level. Do you know what I mean? Like But I feel like as an adult, I am better able to understand how to use social media effectively.

I'm not typically being bullied, right? Like I don't worry about those things, right? But I worry about those things for my boys.

Chantal Cote: Of course. Of course. I know. I know. Yeah, I think, okay, tips. What I would say is There is, there is like a personal decision that goes into, like, how we introduce social media in our families.

What kind of limitations or controls do we as a family agree upon? What's our, what's our perspective on it? And so all of that has to be taken into consideration. Consideration. I think for parents that are like introducing social media to to their kids. I mean, one of the biggest things that I could say is like be involved, be involved as in check in.

Like not, not as in unnecessarily be watching what they're doing on another screen in a different room, but more like be involved like Check in around like what what are they watching? What do they like about it? Who who are they talking to? How are they like, how are they managing those those things if there's stuff that kind of comes up?

Having conversations about it some I have heard in the past, like having the social media be like present in more of a family space can be a really helpful way to just navigate and encourage in the moment conversations about things. So as annoying as this is, and many people might be like, I'm never doing that.

My kiddo loves his VR set and he plays a lot of VR games and so he sets himself up right in the living room and I'm at an earshot from it. And it can be very annoying because he gets very loud and, and very like about his things. But it also has given us an opportunity to kind of like check in around things.

If there's like something that he, I don't know, says or something that kind of comes up, then. I can get into conversation about it like right away.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Chantal Cote: I don't know. Yeah, there's different things.

Kelly Kennedy: It's so hard because there's just so much exposure, right? Like they're exposed to so much more, so much younger than we were.

It's crazy to think how much things have changed since we were kids. Like, it freaks me out, actually. Because it's just the thought that, like, I grew up where video games was Nintendo.

Chantal Cote: Right?

Kelly Kennedy: You, you had friends come over to play Nintendo with you. You did not have to worry about playing them, you know, across the country or whatever it is, across the world.

Yeah, YouTube, YouTube. YouTube's amazing when used correctly. Horrible. I feel like when used in the ways that I feel like some kids use them and I'm speaking to like, I really struggle because my boys love watching YouTube and we have had multiple family conversations about just like, get rid of it.

We've even tried to get rid of it a couple times and it's so hard to really get rid of it because they just redownload it. But yeah, like it's been a tough one because you know, I grew up watching Saturday morning cartoons and what you know I'm sure wasn't wholesome but to me feels wholesome that feels to me like what kids should be watching and yet they're watching you know Minecraft videos or Fortnite videos or just people doing crazy stupid things on the internet.

And I worry about what that's doing to them at a young impressionable age, and yet I feel like I have no control over, over how to handle that as a parent.

Chantal Cote: And as you said that, I thought to myself, like, what a, what an awesome place to really have empathy for what our kids are going through. Because us as parents are feeling a lot of that anxiety.

We're feeling a lot of that worry, a lot of that, like, out of control ness. And so that is like a really great self awareness piece for us as parents. And, and I know this is not speaking specifically to the, the social media piece, but I think as a parent, our regulation matters so much. And so if we're.

Yeah. Constantly feeling like I'm on high alert or I'm really worried or I'm really anxious that in itself has such an impact on on our kids and how they're able to like regulate their emotions. And so that becomes like just a really great. Place to get curious about and and to become self aware about that can be like such a powerful and influential thing that that parents can do to support their kids is learning more about their own, their own nervous system and what's going on for them.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, yeah, it's I think it's like so easy as parents to think that our kids are good and that like, you know, like they're not experiencing these things like they're fine. Like they don't have a worry in the world. But I think like what you're kind of saying is like, no, they're they're very much experiencing A lot of heightened challenge and anxiety and whether you're aware of it or not.

I guess that's terrifying. I don't like that. I didn't mean to further your anxiety.

Chantal Cote: Yeah.

Kelly Kennedy: That just made it worse.

So, okay. So can you give us some tips on how we can potentially better connect with our kids and maybe, maybe try to get ahead of some of these challenges?

Chantal Cote: Okay. Yeah. Yeah better connecting with their kids. So I know I already said this. I'm going to say it again, though. I think like checking in with ourselves is a really, really big one.

And so if I and I don't have the perfect solution or answer to this, but I'm coming home and I'm like on the fritz, I know I'm in burnout. What can I do to reset myself slightly so that I'm more available to connect with my loved ones? Even if that means I sit in my car for an extra, you know, half hour when I arrive in the driveway and just like close my eyes for a moment.

I think like checking in with ourselves is a really big thing that allows us to connect because if we are burnt out or if we are too anxious ourselves, it's really hard to connect with others, no matter who they are, children, spouse, You name it.

Kelly Kennedy: Totally. And I know that's, you know, I mean, that's a problem that I run into regularly where it's like the day's done and yet, you know, I've been up since five 30 in the morning.

I'm tired. And yet there's still a lot of day left.

And it's very hard to be present fully in those moments.

Chantal Cote: It can be quality over quantity is another like thing that you've probably heard. And I think like parents can be pretty hard on themselves about. Like, Oh, I haven't, you know, haven't spent enough time with them or I'm doing you know, I don't feel like it or whatever.

And I, and I think like the quality versus quantity, there's something to be said about that. So in those moments when you are appreciating a conversation with them or you're checking in with them about, you know, Fortnite or something else that they really enjoy and you're, you're there for present for a moment, like that matters.

And it doesn't have to be like, I got to do it every day for X amount of hours. It's. It's that kind of that quality piece and trying to be consistent with it.

Kelly Kennedy: I think at the end of the day, I just, you know, I mean, I, I want my kids to look back and say, yeah, I had a dad, you know, like, and that freaks me out a little bit.

I think that's like one of the challenges I think a lot of entrepreneurs feel and, and you know, partner too, right? It's like, I want to be the best dad and the best partner I can be, but I also want to achieve things. And yeah. Man, is it hard to balance it all?

Chantal Cote: For sure. For sure. Oh yeah. So letting go of that idea of like balance.

I think you said it in this sometime in the earlier in the podcast that it's like you're discovering that that's maybe like not such a like a true thing. That it's like a constant ebb and flow. More of like a harmony as opposed to a balance. There's never going to be like this perfect piece. And so how do we, yeah, how do we kind of navigate that?

Knowing that as parents, like we got to let go of that idea of, of balance or of like being the perfect parent and, and going back to like what matters most to us and doing the, doing the best we can.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. One of the things that I found and, you know, like we only just started doing this ourselves, but we're booking.

Yeah. Like two months, like let's say every two months, just book yourself a weekend away somewhere where you can really get away from it all and bring the kids, whatever. Like we just went to Kananaskis and honest to God, I didn't realize how badly I needed that getaway. But when we were there and I could finally really disconnect from, you know, the world, from everything, from work.

And just be a dad, just be a partner, just enjoy life a little bit. My God, you don't realize how badly you need that until you go and do it. And that's the funny thing. It's like, I didn't realize how bad I needed it until I was there.

Chantal Cote: Yeah. Yes, it's like that, what is that, like that frog in the boiling pot of water?

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, you don't realize you're boiling.

Chantal Cote: Yeah. Yeah, totally. So I love that intentionality, like just being really intentional about carving out space like you would for a business meeting or like you would for like another, like really important appointment. It's like, okay, my family is important. And so let's book in.

Something really intentional.

Kelly Kennedy: And it sounds dumb, but like you may actually have to schedule your time to do that. And I'm, I'm telling you right now, I'm one of those people I have to schedule. Like if I don't schedule that weekend away, that weekend I'll come and go.

Chantal Cote: Yeah, a hundred percent. And I, you know what, when you said that sounds dumb, there was a part of me when I had heard that from a business coach of mine, like schedule in your self care, schedule in your family time.

I was, at first I was like, I'm not doing that. Like I can figure that out. And yeah, and the reality is that exactly like I would let other things take priority over it. Well, I'll just do that thing later. I'll just do that thing later and later never came. And so to practice that for myself, I really did start by like literally scheduling stuff into as if it were an appointment.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, I would, I would highly recommend that to people if they're not doing it now. Like, even if it's just a weekend away with your family, just book yourself, book yourself a weekend away, like a month or two months from right now. And when that time comes, that time's booked, you're going to take that time and trust me, I think you're going to need it more than you think.

Chantal Cote: For sure, for sure.

Kelly Kennedy: Chantal, this has been absolutely amazing. Can you talk just briefly about your services for parents listening that might need your help?

Chantal Cote: Yeah, you bet. So one thing that you mentioned at the beginning is that we have a foundational mental health program, which I absolutely love running.

So it is a group coaching program for teens, and we go over some really key concepts that have to do with mental health and well being. And we do it in a way that is really engaging. So we are not talking at teens. We are creating a safe collective where we're coming together for six weeks. We're talking about these things.

We're doing activities. We're doing some, some creative things to really engage them and shift their perspective on wellness and mental health. By the end of the six weeks we've just seen some really cool transformations and heard some really. profound things from teens and from parents about how the girls leave the space kind of like just thinking about things very differently.

So that's something that we love and that we run. And then we also offer one to one services. So we have three clinicians in the practice that are offering one to one therapy and then we also have teen coaches that offer one to one services as well.

Kelly Kennedy: Amazing, amazing. Chantal, that's such meaningful work.

Thank you for doing that. I think it's pretty amazing that you're just in our backyard. I'm in Edmonton, you're in Calgary, but it might as well be our backyard. Do you, do you offer these services only in Calgary? Do you guys do anything outside of Calgary ever?

Chantal Cote: So yes, we offer our services virtually.

And usually what we love to do is offer, we have a booklet that was created, co created with a, with a young teen. It's mental health tips. We usually like to give people a free booklet, which gets them on our newsletter list, and then we put out content. Every, every single week to support parents, to support teens, and they can access our free content or they can connect with us for services as well.

Kelly Kennedy: Amazing. Amazing. Chantal, thank you so much for joining us. We've been speaking with Chantal Cote, founder of Pyramid Psychology in Calgary. She helps young girls and youth. Just with the challenges of life and they're facing many this time. So feel free to reach out to her if you need any help. Until next time, this has been episode 152 of the Business Development Podcast and we will catch you on the flip side.

Outro: This has been the Business Development Podcast with Kelly Kennedy. Kelly has 15 years in sales. Sales and business development experience within the Alberta oil and gas industry and founded his own business development firm in 2020. His passion and his specialization is in customer relationship generation and business development.

The show is brought to you by Capital Business Development, your business development specialists. For more, we invite you to the website at www.capitalbd.ca. See you next time on the business development podcast.