The Confidence Blueprint: Unlocking Inner Power and Overcoming Doubt with Alyssa McMasters

The Confidence Blueprint: Unlocking Inner Power and Overcoming Doubt with Alyssa McMasters

Kelly Kennedy: Hello, welcome to milestone episode one hundred and ninety. And today it is my absolute pleasure to bring you confidence coach Alyssa McMasters. And if you've struggled with self belief, confidence like many of us, you are not going to want to miss this episode. Stick with us.

Intro: The Great Mark Cuban once said, Business happens over years and years.

Value is measured in the total upside of a business relationship. Not by how much you squeezed out in any one deal. And we couldn't agree more. This is Is the business development podcast based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, and broadcasting to the world. You'll get expert business development, advice, tips, and experiences, and you'll hear interviews with business owners, CEOs, and business development reps, you'll get actionable advice on how to grow business brought to you by capital business development, capitalbd.ca Let's do it. Welcome to the business development podcast. And now your expert host, Kelly Kennedy.

Kelly Kennedy: Hello. Welcome to episode 190 of the business development podcast. I can't even believe that we are this close to episode 200. It blows my mind. And for such a milestone epic episode, I am absolutely pleased to bring you today.

It's. Alyssa McMaster's.

Alyssa McMasters: Yay. I'm so happy to be here.

Kelly Kennedy: Alyssa is a dedicated MC speaker, confidence and career coach with a mission to empower individuals, especially those in tech to embrace their inner confidence and step into their true power. With over a decade of experience in sales and four years in the wellness space, Alyssa combines her expertise in neutrality, mindfulness, and research backed exercises to help people discover their authentic selves.

She provides compassionate conversations, actionable strategies, and unwavering accountability to address areas such as workplace confidence, relationship enhancement, and self improvement. Parenthood navigation, body image improvement, and self trust building. As a workshop facilitator, Alyssa tailors custom workshops to meet the unique needs of her audience, from businesses and nonprofits to conferences.

Her authenticity and passion captivate and excite rooms, making her a sought after speaker and coach. Drawing from personal experiences as a professional and parent, Alyssa offers relatable perspectives that empower thousands of individuals on their journey to confidence and self love. Alyssa is not just a coach, but a catalyst for profound personal transformation.

Helping you unlock your true potential and live with authentic confidence. Alyssa, it's an honour to finally have you on the show.

Alyssa McMasters: I don't know who wrote that bio, but they need a raise.

Kelly Kennedy: Well, 200 episodes, you know, I, I've had a little practice in, in helping a great bio.

Alyssa McMasters: Beautiful. Wow. Wow. Beautiful intro.

Kelly Kennedy: It is my pleasure. It's so cool to have you on. And you know, while I was reading your bio, I'm thinking, I've struggled with all those things. I'm still struggling with all those things, Alyssa. Like this is a great path for you to choose.

Alyssa McMasters: I hear you. And everybody struggles with confidence. And I think a lot of people think that confidence is just something external, like that you can just like, you either have, or you don't have.

And like that person is confident or they're not. But from my perspective, confidence all comes internally. And it's about not. Letting your insecurities hold you back. Not about not having them, because we all have insecurities. It's impossible not to, but it's about just allowing ourselves to have them and then move forward.

So we all have problems with confidence. Even if we are CEOs or interns, I work with all of them and there's the same troubles in both sides of the coin.

Kelly Kennedy: Totally. Totally. And I think it's so funny because you know, I've been in business development for an incredibly long time. I've probably been to well over a thousand meetings in my lifetime.

And yet there are still meetings to this day. There are still interviews to this day that I get meeting anxiety that I get stage fright where I'm like, Oh man, like this is really happening or am I ready for this? And it's like, You would think that after that many times that I would just be solid. And I think that's what people think.

It's like, it's like, well, well, by the time you've done this for this long, you're just good. And it's like, no, you are a human. And like, unfortunately we're still running from saber tooth daggers.

Alyssa McMasters: Yes, exactly. You can't go to fight or flight because that is a real thing that happens, especially in meetings, especially when we are trying to look our best.

And when we're business development professionals and we are the ones who are kind of The ones who have to put our thoughts forward, we're the ones who have to control the conversation, etc. It can be really hard. I actually want to ask you a question about that. Sure. When you say that you get a little bit a little bit nervous in some meetings still, are there any themes about the meetings that you get a little bit nervous about?

Kelly Kennedy: You know what? There I think a lot of it is has to do with success metrics and kind of like how I felt in comparison to other people, but it's so funny because most of the time I don't even know these other people, right? Like I had, I had an interview, for instance, with an incredibly famous person a while ago, and it was funny because I showed up.

They showed up and we were both nervous, like it was such a weird, like surreal moment where I recognized that, that that person was also quite nervous. And so for me, it was like, holy cow, like we're all in this together. I'm sitting here thinking like, who is I'm little old Kelly and they're like, they're like, I'm on the BDP, right?

Like it was a completely, it was a weird moment. Let's just call it a weird moment.

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah, and sometimes we convince ourselves that we're the only person who's nervous in a situation and we're like, everybody else has it together and I promise that none of us actually have it together. Like all of us are just like fumbling around pretending that we know what we're doing.

Kelly Kennedy: Totally.

Alyssa McMasters: We can accept that and we realize that again, whatever room you walk into, everybody just fumbling through and just trying not to look like they don't know what they're doing. Then things get a little bit easier. So I hear you there and it's interesting to look at those themes. So I want you to like, think about that.

Like when the next thing you're in like a meeting, if you get nervous, cause I get nervous around a lot of meetings too, just like those themes that come up for you, like, you're like, is it the specific kind of person, specific kind of conversation, those themes are a nice thing to just kind of acknowledge about like why, why certain meetings just like bring up a little bit more excitement and nervousness.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, yeah, like I'm not going to say that I haven't improved tremendously, right? And I think that's kind of like the point that I wanted to get through to people today was that you are going to have issues with self confidence. You are going to have stage fright. You are going to have meeting anxiety, performance anxiety, whatever you are dealing with in that moment.

And it is completely normal and we're all experiencing it. Like for instance, when I started my BD career, I was incredibly nervous. I'm a, I'm a very like introverted person and have been most of my life. I've kind of had to learn the extroverted skill, not necessarily learn it, but I've had to embrace my extrovertedness.

Let's call it that. Yeah. A stage that for me was not a normal place. I still very much love my own little world and Kelly time and Kelly world. Like that is the world I love and I'm really good at being just me. And so for me, some of my. Some of my challenges have been how to be more extroverted in a beady position, which I, you know, I'm naturally quite good at, but I've had to also learn and put myself in situations that have made me incredibly uncomfortable.

And yes, Uncomfortable situations have gotten more comfortable as I've rose to the occasion and faced my fears and went over those challenges, but there are still many, many, many moments where I do struggle with self confidence, where I do struggle with anxiety or like Yeah. And sometimes I don't even know why.

Sometimes it's just like, I don't know why I'm running from the saber toothed tagger, but in this moment, that's how I'm feeling. And I'm not really sure how to deal with it.

Alyssa McMasters: And sometimes it has nothing to do with that meeting. Sometimes like some conversation happened like three days ago with your partner or a friend, and it's just kind of like ruminating a little bit.

And you're going into this meeting. It sometimes actually has no, nothing to do with that particular meeting. And something you said was really interesting. You said, you know, you were nervous and then you got better and better and we get better and better. Now that is what I hear a lot about imposter syndrome, right?

People are always like imposter syndrome is such a scary feeling to have where we don't feel like we deserve to be in the room.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Alyssa McMasters: But I like to reframe it in terms of you were, you felt like an imposter until you did it. So until you did the meeting and then you're like, okay, actually like, I'm good until you did it.

And now you're in episode 190, right? You look at your first episode and you're like, I'm sure you tell me. I don't know how you were feeling, but how were you feeling when you like launched that first episode?

Kelly Kennedy: I didn't, I don't know. I'm not sure how I was feeling. I think at the time. Okay, so the story of the BDP is it's 2022 and Kelly Kennedy knows that he needs to do something.

He's got capital business development. He's used to old school business development, but he's seeing the world changing. And I remember thinking, Thanks. I need to do something different in 2023, and I don't know whether that's a YouTube, but I'm like, I don't really like YouTube. I don't know if that's where I wanna be.

I don't know if that's like a podcast, but I love podcasts. Like that's where it kind of came from was I love listening to podcasts. I'm like a huge podcast listener. What's super funny is I listen to very little business podcasts and never really have, and I still don't, but I love podcasts in general.

That's a medium that I could do well at that. I love speaking. I think I could do this. Let's do it. So I bought all this equipment, Alyssa, and I sat it in the corner of my room and I sat it there and my fiance looks at me and she goes, Kelly, you got like thousands of dollars of podcast equipment in the corner of the room.

We have a family, do something with it, or sell it.

Alyssa McMasters: Sometimes it's a weird psychological thing that once we do the first step, we're like, done. I

bought the equipment, check, I'm finished. Like sometimes our bodies are just like, are actually really excited about doing that first step. And then we just like, can I just take a pause for a little bit?

There's nothing wrong with that either. But I'm happy that we're now here. Episode 190.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, it's so funny, right? It's like, it's like that without that pressure, without that, like, do something with it. That night I went downstairs, I set up the whole thing, and I recorded the trailer episode to the Business Development Podcast and the rest is history.

I've released two shows a week, every week since that point, which blows my mind. But, Yeah, like I remember being very nervous. I think I talked to you before the show and we were talking about Episode three and I talk about Episode three a lot because Episode three almost never existed. I did not feel good about Episode three.

And first off, there's nothing wrong with Episode three. I've never gotten anybody reach out, say Episode three sucked. Why did you put out Episode three? Never happened. But I was feeling so Messed up internally about episode three, and I don't, I don't even know why I just didn't like it for whatever reason, but I realized something that in this journey, there's going to be episodes.

I don't like there's going to be days where I can't perform at 150 percent that Kelly Kennedy can't show up, but it's important that I try to show up that I show up a little bit every time, even on the times that maybe aren't as good because there's going to be times that are so exceptional that That they make up for those times that aren't as good.

What was more important was just to show up.

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah. And to me, that's exactly what confidence is showing up, even when it feels a little bit sticky. And then we go back to imposter syndrome and you know, you have episode three and you're like really nervous releasing it. And now you look back to that and you probably were kind of giggling.

You're like, why was I so nervous? Yeah. Right. But we have that imposter syndrome right before we do the thing.

Right before we get the promotion, right before, or maybe we have gotten the promotion already, and we're having that imposter syndrome right before we have that first meeting and everyone gives you a big round of applause, right before you do the thing.

So imposter syndrome isn't always a bad thing, it just means that you haven't done it yet. Yeah.

Kelly Kennedy: It's so funny because you know, I mean, I've had situations in my life, Alyssa, where I was so wracked with, with stage fright, with nerves, that honestly, I almost felt like I could not do that thing. I like, and like, you're physiologically falling apart.

This isn't, this isn't just in your mind, like you are pouring sweat. You're like, you're freaking out. Like what? How do you overcome that? Because I feel I agree with you. I think that imposter syndrome is very temporary. And I do find like in those meetings, for instance, the ones that I've been the most nervous for two minutes in, I'm questioning why in the world I was so nervous.

Like, why was I once you get a laugh once you get something to bring the energy in the room back to equilibrium, you feel good, you feel normally like, Okay, I'm free of this. But yeah, Those moments leading up to that before you get that opportunity to come down can be so incredibly ideologically, mentally devastating.

How do people get through those first minutes? Or like, for me, that's a challenge that I still have struggled with.

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah, so I have a course coming out shortly called Confidence Redefined, and the reason why I call it that is because I think confidence means something different to everybody based on their lives, right?

We have the same kind of concept of like, how do we get through those things that are feeling really sticky? But for somebody, confidence might mean sitting in a meeting and saying no. And then say nothing else after. For some people confidence is like getting up in front of everybody, all your friends and family, and giving a big speech.

And for some people having confidence is deciding to put your job and be a stay at home mom. So first like defining what like that confidence and that end goal looks like for you is a super important step. Now, just like when something's going really, really hard in any area of your life. Let's even talk about financial finances.

If we're in debt, it's really hard to get out of debt. And so But when we have a little bit of money, it's a little bit easier to start saving, right? Confidence is the same thing. When we're in that moment where we like don't feel very good, we feel really insecure. It's really hard to build confidence, but when we're in like a pretty settled, secure situation, it's a lot easier to build it.

So how I like to build it is through tiny, tiny steps going towards neutrality. We kind of talked about that in the, in the introduction. I talk a lot about how do we get to the point where we just feel neutral about a situation. Mm-Hmm. , let's go back to the leading conversation. Walk into a meeting in terms of business development, maybe you have a million dollar deal on the odd that you have to renew for next year.

And you're like, this is my entire budget for next year. And you're going into that meeting. The neutrality is I'm going to go in. I'm going to do my very best. Here's all the things that I can control and I can't control anything after that, right? Toxic positivity is saying, I'm going to get it. No issues.

Nobody can do anything against me. And then where a lot of us sit is this pessimism, this No one likes me. I'm not going to renew this. What am I going to do? So how do we get to a point where we're just a little bit more neutral? Not crazy toxic positivity because that's not helpful for anyone.

Yeah. But just neutral. How do we get to the point where like, I feel confident about what I'm able to control in this situation?

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah. And it's so funny. I hadn't even heard the word, the term toxic positivity until my fiance brought it up the other day. And she's like, she's like, have you like heard of the term toxic positivity?

And I was like, No, but I hope that's not us.

Alyssa McMasters: My generation I'm feeling is like fairly decent around it, but like my parent's generation that I see, nothing could be wrong, right? And even when you see it in their parenting styles, I'm right, you're wrong, I'm the parent, you're not, right? They weren't allowed to talk about anything like our generation talks a lot about and I bring parenting back because it's the most, one of the most vulnerable things that I've been through.

They just weren't able to talk about like what's going on. So they had to pretend everything was so positive and that's where we see a kind of a lot of these struggles of being able to be vulnerable with other people in those generations. So I see it in our generation and then the Gen Z's who all have their own personal therapists and are just like so cool and so open and so vulnerable.

There's like a lot of really beautiful, beautiful pieces about not being positive all the time.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. Like I, I grew up with, you know, Gen X parents, right? So like, and not even just Gen X parents, sorry, boomer parents, I guess. Like my parents were actually older. So I grew up in that world where you just, you were tough, right?

You were tough. You're a boy, you'd be tough and it's not their fault. And I grew up to be very tough. I was a very strong willed boy. And. I had to but the problem with that was is that I was also very to myself and because I would experience things that hurt, I would just bury it. I just bury it. And so like later on in my life, now I'm kind of having to unlearn and I've really used this show as a place to be open to be Kelly and I made a I made a decision from like point go of the show that I was gonna be as authentic and honest as possible as I could on this show.

Because I think one, the business development world needs that we need somebody who's willing to just be an open book instead of trying to safeguard all that information and two, I needed it. I needed a place where I could be vulnerable and just have my own place, but also feel like I'm doing good in the world.

And so, yeah, like for me, it's been a learning experience because, you know, like I'm 35, but I've also lived in two worlds, if that makes sense.

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah, it does make sense. And there was a word that you said that was unlearn and I love that word because it has a lot to do with what I do as well as I help people unlearn insecurities because a lot of our insecurities are not actually ours.

The reason why we don't like our body is not because we don't intrinsically like it is because it doesn't match what the media told us to like and what social media told us to like and and what our parents told us these little kind of microaggressions that we've heard through our entire lives.

That's the reason why we have insecurities. Those insecurities aren't actually ours. So one way that we can start increasing confidence is by unlearning a lot of those conditionings that we were taught. Allowing ourselves to think, do I really dislike my body? Or was the cosmos that came out when I was younger, did they all like just point out every celebrity who had cellulite?

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Alyssa McMasters: Right. It's a really important thing to like unlearn things. And it's nobody's fault. Well, I mean, it's society's fault. Let's be honest. It's systematic, but there's nobody individual's fault. It's not our parents fault. It's not nor teacher's fault. It's a system thing. And in order to like really reach real confidence, we have to unlearn those insecurities because we're going to have them right.

And we have to learn how to just be a little bit kinder to ourselves and get towards that neutrality just a little bit quicker.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. My gosh, we just got into it. Didn't we know?

Yeah, yeah, no,

absolutely. I love this and I want to get into it. But first off, like someone doesn't just become a confidence coach, right?

Like that isn't really just it happens. You know, who is Alyssa McMaster? How did you end up on this journey? Like, how did you become this powerful woman?

Alyssa McMasters: When I became a confidence coach, I actually, I saw, I didn't even know what it was. So let me go back a little bit. I was in business development for, and sales marketing for 10 years.

I started in film and oil and gas and kind of like bounced around a bunch of different places. Ended up in advertising and then kind of my last part of my career in business development was tech. And I really, I, for me, personal, like, personal, like, brand development. We kind of talked about this a little bit before too.

It's so important to build your own brand because that's how I like to sell. That's how I like to build businesses, is I like to sell through, does this look good for you? Does it look good for me? Can we connect in a certain way? So the brand is one thing. And then the asking of questions, I got really, really good at asking the right question.

You know, like age old question. I don't, I don't have a pen around me, but the age old question that everybody would ask, like, so me, this pen, when I first started, I was like, this pen is awesome. I love this pen so much. It's blue and it's going to be so good on your, on your paper. And after kind of the end of my career, I started realizing that the only question I have to ask is why do you need a pen?

What are you going to use this pen for? And then we'll figure out the other stuff.

And for asking those questions, I had in my kind of last six months of my business development career, I had three different clients ask me, how are you so confident? And can you teach my daughters? And the first time it happened, I was like, Oh, that's so nice.

Second time it happened. I was like, okay, there's something here. And the third time it happened, I went home to my husband and I was like, I think I'm going to quit my job and become something in confidence. And he was like, he's the best. My husband's the most amazing man in the world. And he's like. Yeah, do it.

And I was like, yeah, just like, figure it out. I trust you. You'll figure it out. So I started about four years ago now, three and a half, where I made a course that was like 21 things you can do to build your confidence. And I really sat with myself to figure out like, what do I do every day to feel confident as like a midsize woman?

One of the one lonely onlies in tech, one of the only women in business development often. How do I build that confidence? So I came up with 21 things that I do actionable steps. I then sold this course and had 100 women take this course right away. I started first with women. I now do all different kinds of genders, but I was more comfortable with women at the beginning.

I had a hundred women take it and they really enjoyed it. They gave me some different information about what they liked, what they wanted to have changed. And from there I took lots of different training. I have my small business coaching certification. Cause I was like, I really want to like learn how a small business owner thinks because I think that we all are actually small business owners.

Whether we have a career or not, right? Specifically in sales. I mean, what we output is actually directly translated to how much we make, right? But really everybody, everybody is their own small business. So I took some different training took my emotional intelligence coaching certificate certification as well as my confidence coaching certification and learned that really coaching is just asking the right questions.

And I was like, well, that's what I've been doing in business development for the last four years. How interesting a connection is that? So I actually find that business development and coaching are really similar is you just have to ask, why do you want a pen? Why do you want confidence first? And then we can find all the tools to create that.

Kelly Kennedy: My gosh, my gosh. And like, What was the reception essentially when you started marketing this? Like, what were the, what was kind of the feedback initially? Was it a little bit challenging for like, because I think, I think most people initially are like, yeah, I'm confident. And then they're like, oh crap, maybe I'm not.

Alyssa McMasters: I was just kind of de lulu. Like I was just, I was like, at the time I was like, 27. I was like, I mean, whatever. Like I've definitely won sales. Yeah, I was just a little delusional. I think that like maybe you're just allowed to be a little delusional at the beginning. And most people were like a lot of like my friends and family and they were like, hoorah, you're doing so good.

And then from there is like really the word of mouth. And I think that's the best business development as well as the best, um, what's the term? Compliment is when you get referrals when someone refers you. So from there it was mostly referrals. And now I almost base most of my business on referrals and on social media.

So those are kind of my two marketing. But it really is word of mouth referrals for me, which is also how I always like to do my business development side too. So yeah, the reception first. Like four years ago, people were like, what's a confidence coach? And I was like, I actually don't really know, but I'm creating it now.

There's actually a lot of confidence coaches. So whatever was going on, whether it was like something in like the universe that was happening or we were just being fed a different messages about like coaching, I know a lot of confidence coaches and they're all wonderful and all do things really, really differently.

So yeah, that's how my journey into coaching started. And then. I did lots of one on one, still do lots of one on one, love one on one. I was then hired by a beautiful company called Toast that helps women get into tech roles. Amazing. And it's a three on one coaching with Toast. So they're a wonderful, wonderful company.

And then I do a whole bunch of workshops and then speaking for different conferences. And I specifically work with women in tech. And then also teens is a really big, big group of mine. And I'm sure that you can be like, yep, teens. Could you imagine if we were like, and we're given like tools on how to like work through insecurities.

Kelly Kennedy: Man, I look, I look back to like my like junior high and high school experience and man, almost none of the stuff that we were taught in that was relevant to real life. And it really bothers me. It's one of those things that this day really bothers me that we are not like, Why don't we just teach business in school?

Why don't we teach mindfulness? Why don't we teach, yeah, confidence building? Like, why don't we teach skills that, like, I get it. We need language arts, and we need math, and we need science. But, like, really, do we need anything else other than life skills?

Alyssa McMasters: Right? And we're just, we were, like, I think the new generations, like, what I've been seeing, especially for the teams that I work with, like, The, the eloquency, like they're so eloquent in the way that they talk and they're so open and vulnerable.

I actually did a workshop last night for some of the contestants for miss teen Calgary. And I kind of went in being like, okay, they're going to be like me and my friends when we were like 14 and they're going to like roll their eyes, whatever. These girls were like so open and so vulnerable and they were like, Can literally competing against each other and we're like holding each other's hands and like clapping for each other.

I was like, wow, this is so cool. This is so cool. So I think that is getting a little bit better because I think that people, the toxic positivity, I think is a really big thing. We're not like these. Those teens are not expected to be perfect all the time. There's a lot more conversations around mental health.

However, there's still a lot of challenges that we, I didn't face. Social media, all the filters, all of the different information that they're getting. So yeah, I remember being a teenager and then coming out of school and being like, what the heck am I supposed to do? Like, I'm don't know how to adult.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah.

I know I'm... it's something that like me and Shelby we talk about a lot and it's like I I'm really afraid of like of what social media could do to my kids. I really am like I I don't think like I didn't get Facebook for instance until I was in grade 12 like I was in grade 12 when I got Facebook.

That was it right like that was and even then like we're talking like Early years, 2007 Facebook, right? Like there's nothing going on. Then it was a completely different world. YouTube was brand new. I don't know. It's like we're having to parent and we were talking about this. We're having to parent and, and deal with challenges that nobody could have ever seen coming and all new and the old, the old information is really no longer relevant because we're playing in a completely new sandbox as parents.

Alyssa McMasters: We, we are. And like the social media is one thing. And something that's really interesting from when I was younger, and maybe you can attest to this too, is like, I feel like it was a little more challenging for women. And girls growing up, the confidence for girls was harder. It's been a really interesting switch.

And we see the same challenges of, for confidence for men as well. A lot of boys are wanting to have six packs of like, like the dudes they see in TikTok, right? There's also a lot of gadgets, like a lot of stress on both, like at all genders. We're seeing a little bit more towards the boys and our non binary friends as well.

We're seeing just like lots of different challenges that we never saw in the past before. It was like, you either cool or you're not. And now that's

really what it was.

And then really, right. And then you throw COVID in the wrench where now all these kids who were supposed to be like, you know, have these, Let's talk about the kids who graduated in 2020, 2021.

They were supposed to have a graduation. Then they went into university all while not being able to be with any of their friends and have that social development. All they had to turn to was social media. So they're trying to also learn. And I give them the biggest round of applause. Could you imagine if like you weren't able to graduate with your friends and then didn't have your first year college, university college experience, man, those kids are so resilient.

So we need to give them a little bit more grace. And we also need to give them more tools. Yeah, so that's the team side of things.

Kelly Kennedy: It's it's really interesting because it's like it's also that balance between us wanting them to have real relationships and real connection, right? Like in our house, we really do try to prioritize like, obviously, I'm a business owner, Shelby and me want our boys to have a real childhood experience where they're playing with other boys, they're playing on the park, they're building real connection.

But yet almost everything in the world is pointing them towards. Digital communities, the metaverse, let's call it, right? And I see it with Fortnite, right? Like our oldest son loves Fortnite. It's like, but that's where his friends are. That's where his community is. Like that's what is ultimately happened.

And. I find myself very scared about what that could potentially mean for the future and it's so funny because I actually interviewed QuHarrison Terry who wrote The Metaverse Handbook and we chatted about that and and like that's the world that's coming whether we like it or not but it's it is scary and it's like okay as parents he's not a parent yet so he didn't understand it necessarily from my point but as like a parent You It, it does bring fear to me about what that could mean for their future.

Alyssa McMasters: And for me, my son is two. So I am very grateful that you get to go through it first and then let me know how to manage it.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah. No, we have, we have a family of four and so I have three step sons and I have one six month old biological son who, yeah, I get, I get the full gamut of parental experience and.

It's, it's, it's challenging, like as we're getting into like, you know, it wasn't, but now electronics and like, you know, obviously Adler's going into grade six here and things are changing and the world is changing. And yeah, like we're starting to realize that, like, frankly, I want my kids probably as little as possible on on any type of social media on any type of phone on any type of tablet, like if I can keep them off YouTube, if I can keep them off.

Social media. I think there's a time and a place for it. I think YouTube is amazing for the right reasons. I think social media is amazing and required for the right reasons, but I think that there's a lot of reasons that it's not right. And those tend to be the ones that target kids.

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah. Did you see that experiment that Elon Musk's company?

I forget the name. You're going to have to fact check me on that. Where he gave technology and internet to like a remote village in, I believe it was Peru. Did you hear about this?

Kelly Kennedy: I didn't know. Run me through it.

Alyssa McMasters: So they were given this technology and everyone was given phones. And again, we're going to have to fact check this because I don't know all the details, but they're getting phones, they're getting technology and internet for the first time ever.

And. Everybody got addicted to porn and social media, however, and the elders were like, okay, we need to like put a stop on this and they didn't want to give it back. So very similar to all of us, right? Like, we don't want to give it back. We still want it because they ended up, they first started researching, like, how do we cure X kind of snake bite?

How do we cure, you know different kinds of things? How do we like, you know, eat different kinds of foods? So they're like, the elders were like, no, we still want to keep this, but we just have to monitor it. Because it's kind of just like human condition, maybe, right? Totally. Social media is made to make us become obsessed with it.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, and I think one of the challenges, you know, I mean, you're not necessarily in this scenario yet, and maybe my warning to you would be, Once they once you have given them tablets, once you have given them exposure to, you know, YouTube or like tablet games or whatever, you're right. It's very hard to change it back.

And like, we've actually had that conversation in this house where I made a huge mistake. I'm owning this because I didn't see it coming, right? Like I didn't see how like how challenging that situation could be, but it's almost impossible. It's not impossible. I'm his parent and I could walk it back, but I can't walk it back without causing damage.

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah, and not just them getting upset but like real like social damage.

Kelly Kennedy: Real damage.

Alyssa McMasters: Real damage for them.

Kelly Kennedy: And so the challenge for me, like I've hit plenty of moments where I'm like, damn it, I'm just gonna take it. I'm just gonna take it. And then Shelby's like, you can't, you can't take it. Like you can't take it.

You're going to destroy that kid. And I'm like, oh my goodness. Like I've. It's like, it's like I see the benefit in it, right? Like the reality is we use socials to promote this show. We use socials to promote our business. We're on there all the time, and I love socials, but I feel like it's a different use case than for kids.

And I think like I said, socials have their place. YouTube has its place. Amazing. I can't tell you how many things I've learned from YouTube or how many reviews I've like made better buying decisions or whatever else. YouTube has a lot of great reasons, but I think there's a lot of stuff on there that my gosh is just absolute junk and that tends to be what the kids are watching and I struggle with it immensely.

Alyssa McMasters: The thing that I find really interesting is once we kind of define what confidence means to each and every one of us And confidence means something different, right? Like I got like a team that I work with, it's like, I want to be confident walking the stage at my grad, right? Where a CEO is like, I want to be confident because I just got 3 million dollars invested into my company and I don't know what I'm doing with it.

Right. So once we kind of define what confidence means to each person, really a lot of the steps are very, very similar. And that is the unlearning of the insecurities and unlearning of those bad habits, like the social media. And then also like, Maybe procrastinating with, with CEOs. So that's very similar.

And then it's about taking those small integral steps every day and really holding yourself accountable to how can I take a step every day? Kind of like working out, right? We're not going to get great muscles unless we keep doing this every day. We're not going to have great confidence unless we do it every single day and keep consistent with those small changes because we can't Like you said, we can't just like take our kids tablets away, but what if we started doing small things to help them make their own boundaries, set their own boundaries around social media, right?

That is kind of how my approach to not just confidence, but really a lot of situations, whether it's personal or professional, is how can we make those small steps to get like 1 percent better each day?

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, I agree. Because I think like at the end of the day, In moderation, most things are okay for you, like, but the problem is that it gets blown way out of, you know, any type of moderation when we're dealing with socials or tablets or, you know, things with kids for the most part, and it's like it does fall on us as parents, but I think I find myself in such a situation now where I want to do what's best for them, but I also don't want to hurt them.

And I, I don't know, sometimes I have my moments and it's like, I think I'm not alone in this. I think there's probably a lot of parents listening to this right now. We're like, I am right there. I totally get it.

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah. I mean, kind of like, tell me how you're feeling. We kind of feel embarrassed. We're like, maybe I shouldn't have done this.

A tablet. What do I do now?

Kelly Kennedy: Because who do you have to look in the mirror? Who gave them the technology, right? Like, that's the problem. We gave it to them. And so, on a certain level, it's like, we said, hey, this is okay. Enjoy this thing and have fun, because it's amazing. It's this great thing. Like, I grew up with Nintendo.

Like, Nintendo 1, right? Like, you couldn't become addicted to Mario. I'm sorry. Mario was amazing, but you're never, like, thinking about Mario all day long, forever. And even if you did, you'd beat it eventually and get bored of it. Yeah, technology we have now is designed to be perpetual and go on forever and feed you that addictive thing over and over and over and over again forever more.

And yet we're, I don't know. It's crazy. It is. It feels crazy.

Alyssa McMasters: It does. And there's one, like one tool that I teach in a lot of my coaching is just being kinder to ourselves and like forgiving ourselves, right? We like, again, thank you for taking this because I don't have to do this because your generation of kids isn't helping me.

But, you know, we, you didn't know. You wouldn't know what was going to happen with tablets. We you guys were just trial and erroring it and that's okay. And allowing yourself to be like, I'm allowed to make mistakes. This mistake. Now, where do I want to go from here? And guess what? Like, maybe you're like, you know what?

I actually totally feel okay with the tablet use, but if you decide that you're like, I actually don't, then you can kind of start making those small steps and helping your kid make those small steps. And what my coaching is, what that looks like is I will be like, So what's the first next step, right?

That's what I'll ask. And I ask again, I ask that to CEOs and teens and in all kind of the whole range of this group. Right interns are in there. Moms are in there. Really a whole range. What I always ask is again, what's the first next step? And everybody knows. Everybody always knows what that first next step is.

They might just need to kind of be coached a little and kind of walk through what that might look like, but you know, we don't intrinsically like what feels good. And that's also where I go with my confidence coaching. There's nothing that we can do if you don't want to do it and it has to feel good to you.

It has to feel like authentic and good to you or else there's no point in doing it. So that's why we figure out what feels good to like each individual that I work with.

Kelly Kennedy: Well, and the funny thing about confidence is you can be really confident in one area of your life and incredibly not confident in another, right?

Like, I think parenting has definitely been one of the most challenging things that we have, that I've had to learn. Like, I got kind of thrust into it, just three step sons, right? Like it was immediately, you're a dad, enjoy. And It was challenging. Thank God, Shelby kind of held my hand and walked me through that process.

And now, you know, I have, I have jet and he's six months. He's amazing. I'm such a proud dad. But I was, I've always been a proud dad, but it was, it was one of those things where it was just like, holy cow, like this is a whole nother thing. Like a baby is a completely different scenario. But yeah. Right.

You know, I find myself, I don't know if I will ever be 100 percent confident as a parent.

Alyssa McMasters: And I don't think as a confidence coach, I don't think that anyone will be 100 percent confident all the time.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Alyssa McMasters: I think that's narcissism. That's the diagnosable problem. I think that it's a It's very fluid, right?

When something happens and it kind of knocks down our confidence, how do we build that back up? Not to be 100 percent confident, but how do we just build it up to feel like secure and where we are and make decisions that we want regardless of like the garbage that just happened to us, whatever area that is.

So I don't think that anyone will be a hundred percent confident, and I also don't think it's a destination. I think that it's a journey. That's cliche, but I'm going to say it again. Confidence is not a destination. It's a journey, right? We were always kind of striving to that next step because things are always changing.

And if we've never been a parent before, I remember like when my son, I guess, was like four days old. My husband looks at me, he's like, If someone just like took care of him for like a week and just like took him away, like, is it bad that I wouldn't be sad? I'm like, no, I'm thinking the same thing. Right?

And now, two years later, I'm like such a confident mom and like I feel very blessed to feel like a really good mom. And that is fluid. Those things are always changing. But how did I kind of get here in two years? I just didn't allow, I did all the tools that I teach in my coaching and in my workshops.

But those tiny steps, right? One of those steps was leaving the house. I remember like leaving the house for the first time and I was like, okay. I can do this. This is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. I will go travel. I will go talk to CEO. I will do anything again. This is the scariest thing is leaving the house.

We went to the grocery store, but doing those small steps each day eventually leads to where you are. I think parenting is a really good example of that is that then you look back to your friends or family who have newborns and you're kind of like. It was hard, but like got through it and like you almost kind of forget what it, and you are in the thick of it.

You're in the six months of it. Yeah. So , although it'll come.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah. Like I think for me it's not as hard because like I, I've somewhat been through it, right? Like I was already a stepparent for four years before Jett came along. So it's like, I feel like on a certain level I'd already burst that bubble.

Like I already kind of gone through a lot of that, but yeah, like. I get what you're saying. I think the challenge that we face in confidence, right? And it's like the same challenge we face in business. We want everything to just be as quick as humanly possible. Right? And in my experience, Nothing comes without work without hard work most of the time and nothing is immediate like almost any win I've had whether it was a win on this show, whether it was a win on capital business development or a win personally, it took twice as long as I as I wished it would have, right?

Like nothing happens in the speed that as humans we planned. Oh yeah, we can do it in this time. It's like no, most of the time it takes longer and we have this great change. Challenge of of wanting to be somewhere much faster than it's going to happen. And so I think confidence is the same way. It's like I just wish that I could be there.

But you're right. It's a journey like you're you're going to get there as long as you keep taking steps every day. But you can't skip to the end.

Alyssa McMasters: Exactly. We have to build it. It is like building blocks, really. Each tool that you, that you gain, that you can put in your toolbox. Let's say one tool that I really like is naming your insecurity bully.

It helps, like, externalize what your insecurities are saying. So that, that little voice in your head that's like, you're not good enough. Like, you don't belong here. What if we named it? And what if we, like, talked to it? Like, it's like a friend. It becomes, like, really silly when we externalize it. And we're like, you're like, could you imagine a friend saying that to you?

Like, you'd like, you'd literally like. Probably knock them out. Let's be honest, right? So gaining those tools that you have, you know, that plethora of tools that you can use when you're like, okay, my insecurities are really coming up right now. I have six tools to use. Maybe I want to write them down. Maybe I want to talk to my insecurity bully.

Maybe I want to forgive myself for having these thoughts, right? There's all these different tools that we can build. It's all about building your tool belt to that and building your tool belt when you feel okay. That's the hard part. It's like we want when we're like not feeling great about ourselves, like we want confidence, but it's easier to build it when we're feeling pretty okay.

But we build those so that when we have that insecure moment, when we have that really nervous meeting, when we have to get on stage and we almost don't do it, we can like pull from that tool belt and start thinking about those tools that we have built over, over however many years.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Like I think, and, and, you know, I think this is a tough one to kind of like word, we're all going to get knocked down, right?

Like there's, there's, there's no, nobody, not one of us is going to walk away without having a moment where our confidence is shattered, our feelings about ourself and that moment is shattered. So we're going to get knocked on our butts, right? It's gonna, like, none of us are getting away from this, whether you're in business, parenting, personally, you're going to have that day where you're on your butt and you're like, why, why is this happening, right?

Right. I think what's more important is how do we get back up as soon as possible because we, we have to make an internal choice to say, I'm either going to stay knocked down, I'm going to let my confidence be shattered, or I'm going to pick myself back up as quickly as humanly possible. What advice would you have?

For that person we're talking to right now, like they're listening to the show today and they are just been knocked on their butt. Something horrible has happened. It shook their confidence. How do we help them get back as soon as possible?

Alyssa McMasters: So I first, I know this is not the answer that we want, but it takes practice.

I want you to think about the first time that you drove your car and how scary that was, and you had all these knobs and you had all these buttons and you had no idea how to use them and, and you're driving and thinking about it now, where you just get in your car and you don't even think about it.

Confidence is very similar, right? We, it's like building, it's like learning how to drive a car. So it takes practice. But if you are having like a really hard time, like you are knocked on your butt and you are just trying to get up, I want you to be really gentle with yourself. And the first thing I want you to do is I want you to change what success looks like to you in that situation.

So I'll kind of make some examples. So you said a little bit earlier that really, really liked is you can feel really confident in business and not feel confident in parenting, right? Which is. It's so true. But often those things will bleed into each other. So something happens in your meeting and you like blow a client meeting or something and then you go home and you just don't feel as cool.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Alyssa McMasters: It's all about balance, right? It's all about, actually we kind of talked about this earlier. It's not about balance. I don't think balance is a real thing. You can't like properly balance your business life and your romantic life and your kid life. It's just seasons.

You pick which season kind of is most important to you at that time. Right? But I want you to change what success means. So when you're doing really well and things like feel really good and you're, maybe you're crushing it at work and you're crushing it at home and everything feels really great.

Success might look like I'm going to have free meetings today and I'm going to like sell a hundred grand today, right? When you get knocked down and let's say, let's say, let's use the example of work. So you make a hundred grand, you feel, feel awesome. You're able to like go on these crazy trips, right?

Then one day you get laid off. Success just no longer looks like making a hundred K that day. Success might look like getting up showering and applying for one job, right?

Success might look like having one conversation with somebody. So by us, like I think our biggest problem was we think that success.

Is linear in all of our areas of our life all the time. So when we're doing really well and things feel good and when things don't feel good, we still have the same expectations on ourselves. And we need to learn how to change what success means to us. If you are, yeah, if you're having that, like on your butt time, change what success looks like to you.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah. So essentially what you're saying is put, put a win, even if it's a small win, even if it's just this like itty bitty win, just put a win because if you can get one win, you can get two.

Alyssa McMasters: Exactly. That is a really nice way to also, yeah, it's a really, really beautiful way to put it. And I find what you like to do, right?

People like to, some people like to like write notes in a journal.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Alyssa McMasters: Some of my clients would like to like make voice notes they can listen to later. Find your thing and write down that win. Like allow yourself to kind of celebrate that win. And sometimes again, that, that win is just showering that day.

Kelly Kennedy: Honestly, it's so funny because like my entire career, I've always had a notepad. So I've used my notepad on a daily basis. And I always put, especially when I'm doing client work, top things to do today. And it was something, there was something about checking off each little win that gave me little butterflies inside.

Like it's, it's a weird, it's, it's so meaningless. It's a checkmark by a line item. But that checkmark to me always represented a small win. And it helped me to hit the next checkmark, right? And cold calls were the same way. It's like you've spent time doing cold calls in your life. The first cold call sucks.

Nobody ever sits down for a day and they're pumped to do their cold calls. Like I haven't met one person ever who's like, I live for this, right? But what we recognize is by the time you get to your fifth cold call, you hit a cold call cadence in the sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, all the way to 20 if you want is easy.

But you can't get there until you make the first five.

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah. And actually speaking of cold calls, one of the best pieces of advice that I got with one of my one of my mentors and one of my bosses in my past was she's like, you need to celebrate. The F you know, you need to like go out and like buy like a lunch or like coffee when you get like a big F you like the one that like makes your bones hurt a little.

Yeah, that's when you celebrate. And when you get used to celebrating that now, all of a sudden you'll get this F you know, and you're like, Hey, nice, like I got a coffee and it doesn't feel as like intense. So I guess there's kind of two sides to it. Change that success and like have that like find those wins.

But also you can learn how to reframe those really big losses too and learn how to celebrate those losses because that loss is one step closer to that next win.

Kelly Kennedy: Yes. Yes. And okay, reframing, reframing is a fun one.

Alyssa McMasters: Oh my gosh, it's hard.

Kelly Kennedy: And reframing is a fun one because it takes a lot of conscious effort To change your perception or your already existing frame.

And I hear frame like reframe come up a lot, right? Like I just did reinvention. I just read reinvention roadmap. And it's so much focused on like reshifting and reframing. And, and really like you've been talking about become your own boss. And I love that aspect of it. But the reframe is such a hard aspect.

It's a challenging aspect to be able to sit down and say, okay, like I've looked at something this way. And now I have to change my whole view. Yeah. It can feel impossible. It can feel like a woo woo idea. What is your advice for reframing?

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah. So do we have time? Can we do like a little exercise together?

So this is something called a neutrality ladder, which is really helpful. So if you have a piece of paper in front of you and you're listening to this, great. If not, listen to this, get a piece of paper and come back later. So like anything, if we went from zero to a hundred, it's, it's impossible, right?

It's absolutely impossible to go from, let's example zero I got laid off and I am worthless right to I am the most amazing person in the world. We can't do that.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Alyssa McMasters: What we can do is we can take those small steps. So I call it like a 10 percent kinder. So if you have a piece of paper in front of you, I'd like you to like write down and draw a ladder.

An actual ladder with five or six rungs. And in the bottom I want you to write that insecurity that you have coming up. Again, let's use that example of I'm worthless, right? On that next rung of that ladder, I want you to think of something 10 percent kinder. So first of all, I'm worthless. 10 percent kinder could be.

I am, I am alive. I am a human. I have some good qualities, right? Okay. And then we can kind of believe that, right? We can't believe I'm the most amazing person in the world and I'm going to make a million dollars. We can maybe believe I'm a human because that's not wrong. That's true. Once we kind of sit with that, then we go up that rung again to that 20 percent kinder.

What's 10 percent kinder than I'm a human. Some people really like me. Okay, that's true. That's like a true fact. People really like me. That's very true. And so on and so on until we get to a point that we're like, yeah, I feel a little lighter, but I also don't feel like I'm like faking and lying to myself.

So maybe that kind of neutrality that we get to look something like, I have all of the skills to get a new job. Right. I have all the skills to crush it at my next role. Right. And that's kind of how we can start reframing things is taking those small 10 percent steps.

Kelly Kennedy: Wow. That's, that's actually super powerful.

Like I was just thinking about that. I'm like, yeah, like that actually makes a lot of sense.

Alyssa McMasters: I, it's funny because like, it's fairly simple, right? This isn't rocket science. Well, it's not taught it either. We're not taught. Use our brains. But

Kelly Kennedy: it's like, it's like even for business, right? It's like you're not going to make a million dollars next year.

But if you were to do that same ladder exercise and say, you know what today? Yeah, today sucks. But tomorrow I'm going to make a hundred bucks. And the next day, I think I could make a thousand bucks. And the next, right? Like you, you can use this just about anywhere.

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah, exactly. So the ladder and, and it really helps to like draw it out.

And it, cause it allows, it's almost like Okay, so this is like, it's like a little, like, mindfulness exercise where like, you're just like, all you're doing is with yourself in this, this session, and it can take 15 seconds. And eventually, now, talk about driving the car when you drive it out, and it takes it, that's driving the car for the first time.

But now, I can reframe this all the way to like, feeling pretty good about myself pretty quickly. It comes Practiced a whole lot of practice.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, yeah. One of the questions that came to my mind as we've been talking about confidence is that courage gets thrown in a lot, right? Are courage and confidence the same thing?

Alyssa McMasters: Okay, so I think that they have a lot of similarities and this is why. I don't think that you can have courage without fear and I don't think you can have confidence without insecurity. So I think that they have a a very similar situation there where in order to have that confidence you must first feel shitty.

In order to first have, in order to have confidence, courage, you have to first feel fear.

Kelly Kennedy: Mm.

Alyssa McMasters: I think that they have a lot of similarities that way. I also think that confidence comes from both confidence and courage come from within. But courage again, is facing that fear and confidence is facing that insecurity, which those can things can feel very overlapped sometimes.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah, no. Okay. Yeah. That, that makes sense. It's weird to think that you can't really, but you're right. It's like you can't experience light unless you know what dark is. It makes a lot of sense. Hey, it's like you could never experience confidence without fear. Knowing insecurity. It's a weird paradigm, isn't it?

Alyssa McMasters: And that insecurity could mean insecurity, like mental insecurity. Like I don't like my body, but it could also mean food insecurity, right? It could also mean financial insecurity, right? We can't really, we can't really feel fully confident until we've overcome things, right? Cause all of us have garbage that happened to us.

All of us have things that have, have completely shaped the person that we are. And if we didn't have that, then we just be like, okay. Ignorance is bliss, right? Sure, it'd be blissful, but we wouldn't actually understand what the difference of confidence would be, which is, again, that feeling of being on your ass.

Kelly Kennedy: I find, like, the older that I get, the more that I realize that I have to, I have to chase uncomfortable situations, which is a weird, It's a weird thing because I think most of my life I've been like, nah, I'd rather not do that. I'd rather avoid that uncomfort, but like the older I get, I realized that like, if I want to grow in business as a person, as a podcaster, as a human, I have to just continue to push my own boundaries and do things that make me feel very uncomfortable, even though they're scary.

But the funny thing about that is, is every single time I've done that, I've recognized after that it wasn't the fear that I was giving it was not fair. Like I was giving it so much more power than it deserves. And I think for me, that is what's flipped the switch where it's like, okay, if that's been true with almost every challenge you faced.

then there must be a lot more truths out there for you to go find. And so I find myself now thinking like, okay, like there's a lot of things that scare me, right? Like public speaking, probably coming my way. Definitely something that freaks me out. You know, even there are times on this podcast where I have moments where I'm still feeling like, okay, like.

Do I want to say that? Do I want to push this boundary? Is this something I really want to share with the world? I think this is one of those episodes, really. This is an episode where I've said some vulnerable things. Where it can definitely feel like, is this one that I want? But yeah, it has to go out because it's a growth moment for me.

And so it's so funny that like, there are a lot of things that scare me, Alyssa. But I'm also realizing that if I don't face them, I won't know. I won't really know. One day I might hit that thing that's absolutely soul crushingly terrifying, but I haven't, I haven't found it yet.

Alyssa McMasters: Exactly. And even when like the worst things happen to us, years later we're able to kind of come back from them.

And sometimes it takes decades to come back from some of these things, but at the end of the day we usually you usually can find some kind of light in it years later when you're in it. It's the worst thing and it's, it's hard and it's very hard to get out of it. And when you're in it, that's when you go to a therapist, right?

To work through that, when you feel out of it, that's when you come to a coach and we'll make your now what plans which is kind of a very, that's just kind of my differentiation of between like therapists and coaches. That's what, yeah. I kind of see.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Alyssa McMasters: But I'm also really proud of you for being vulnerable.

It can be really, really hard to be vulnerable, but I'm happy that you felt safe enough with me to do that today.

Kelly Kennedy: No, I appreciate it. Like I said, it's been a growing experience for me this whole journey, right? Like it's 190 episodes. Like. There's been, I'm a way different Kelly than I was at episode one and I couldn't have seen that coming and I think that that's the secret like for me what I've realized in business and in podcasting in human life in parenting, you can't see what's coming and no matter how many plans you put in place, they're probably not going to happen at all the way you planned it.

The secret is just to be ready to say yes, it's to be open to that opportunity. And so. I find myself trying to be open to as many opportunities as possible, knowing I don't know what the next podcast is. Do you know what I mean?

Alyssa McMasters: Yeah, I do. And when you said I'm trying to think of the word you said that really stood out to me there.

You said, we don't know what's happening and we just like, it's inevitable that things are going to happen to us and all that we need is to like, is to have. That to those tools to go forward. I think that's kind of what you said. And I think that's exactly right, right? Things are going to happen, but we need to have that tool belt.

And we also need to know that, like, we will overcome this. Yeah. Like, and even though it's not even happened yet, we will be able to overcome it because we've overcome so many things. And that's what real confidence looks like. Yeah. There's no way that you can overcome it.

Kelly Kennedy: Totally. Totally. And like, you can overcome a lot more than you think.

Alyssa McMasters: Like, it is crazy what we can, what we can overcome.

Kelly Kennedy: Yeah.

Alyssa McMasters: And we see that in all areas of our life and in our world, but also in the worlds around us, right? What people are able to go through and what people are able to be resilient through is quite a masterpiece.

Kelly Kennedy: Absolutely. Absolutely. Alyssa, this has been absolutely amazing.

Thank you for joining me today. You offer a wide range of confidence building services, and I wanted to chat about that today, you know, get into your business.

Alyssa McMasters: I do. Okay, here's my elevator pitch. So like I said, I am the now what I help people figure out their action plan towards confidence and really figuring out what their goals are, and then providing tools to get there.

So I do this through one on one coaching, group coaching through businesses as well as workshops and speaking. Again, I really focus on tech and teens, but I've done kind of everything. So if you're like, huh, this girl sounds kind of interesting. Let me know. And I'm sure we can talk to chat about it.

Kelly Kennedy: And I think your company name, let me introduce yourself is one of the coolest company names.

Alyssa McMasters: I really love it too. so much. Yes. Let me introduce yourself. And then my products. Are called confidence redefined, but yeah, let me introduce yourself. So that is my website. Let me introduce herself. com. And I'm going to be sending Kelly.

I have a 30 day confidence challenge that does exactly what we talked about today. Those small integral steps. You can start building those tools now that when something happens, which is inevitable, you can have those tools in your tool belt to pull. So you'll be able to kind of access that. And it's a free 30 day challenge.

Kelly Kennedy: Perfect. Perfect. And I'll have all the links up on all of our posts, Alyssa. It's been amazing. Thank you for coming on. And. Building my confidence. I appreciated that. Until next time, this has been the business development podcast, and we will catch you on the flip side.

Outro: This has been the business development podcast with Kelly Kennedy.

Kelly has 15 years in sales and business development experience within the Alberta oil and gas industry. And founded his own business development firm in 2020. His passion and his specialization is in customer relationship generation and business development. The show is brought to you by Capital Business Development.

Your business development specialists. For more, we invite you to the website at c see you next time on the Business Development Podcast.